arielangel

Mom: What do you think of this paint color? (It's dark red) Dad: I don't know... It looks like ...

Mom: Every time that I see a car driving with a mattress strapped on top I always think it's a pr...

(Jehovah Witnesses knock on the door) Mom: *answers door to be polite* Dad: HONEY! Come back! T...

Me: I think my English teacher may be pregnant Mum: Is your teacher a man? Me:...

ME: I'm just a little angel. Dad (a pastor): So was Lucifer in the beginning

Mom: The cat is not food! Me: Umm... what? Mom: Oh I mean the cat has no food.

Step-mom: "This rolling pin isn't registered, don't push your luck with me kid" Me:... I just wa...

Me: What did Dad want to name me? Mom: Stormy. But I told him no because, ya' know, the job opti...

Me: "No mom, still don't have a boyfriend." Mom: "Do you think that maybe you might be a lesbian...

Mom: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A BOY!!!! Me: I'm sorry my genitals were not to your liking! Mom...