cheezburger_eater

(At a restaurant) Uncle jokingly to my disabled Grandma while being seated: Hurry up you old cri...

(Nicki Minaj comes onto the radio in the car) Dad: Is that Drake? Me: No, it's Nicki Minaj. Da...

(At the beach, mom hands me a shell she found.) Mom: Here, smell this. Me: *sniff + about to vo...

Mom: Japan? Everyone is polite over there, expect the ninjas.

(At the Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park in February) Dad: C'mon! I want some Butterbe...

*Discussing pen names* Me: So, if you aren't trying to hide your identity, why would you want a ...

Mom: Grace, I'm fat. I don't like being fat. Go make me some cookies.

Me: Hey Mom, another one of your quotes just made it on that website. Mom: *facepalms* Me: LOL