The latest from cheezeburgerlover12
*I come home and the kettle on the stove is whistling* Hey mom, you're thingie's whistling! Mom: The man who makes my thingie whistle isn't home yet.
Me: I don't think I'm ever going to have kids. Mom: I will disown you for saying that. Me: But it's my choice right? Mom: Listen...every woman is meant to have a child. I at this point could care less who is the father. Just give me a goddamn grandchild!
Mom: Scott, don't twirl that steak knife around. You're going to hurt yourself. Me: But mom... you're licking the sauce off of the edge of a pizza cutter... Mom: ...well it's different...
