darkwolf730

Always change the batteries in your smoke detector each year, and post a reminder on your calenda...

When the 10 year old you are babysitting talks you into playing Halo with him, don’t shoot the fi...

Don't pick out a cat just because it has extra toes and you think that's cute. It also happens t...

I don't care HOW drunk you get at a new years party, never, EVER put a fork in a toaster. #LFMF

Never cross a six year old with sharp nails. When she says, "I will make you bleed" she means it....

No matter how hard you sleepily smack it, the cat does not have a snooze button on the top of his...

The southwestern area in Disneyland is called Frontier Land not 'The Mexican Area'

Hot sauce packets at a fast-food restaurant WILL explode and splatter very far, all the way to th...

Microwaving a wet kitchen sponge is an effective way to kill germs. Microwaving a dry kitchen spo...

When tossing the water out of your 1 year old Lab's water dish, make sure you remember he is fast...

If someone says "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" don't throw a...

If you know that your friend talks in her sleep DO NOT, under any circumstances mention Nazis, sh...

When you are headed to a job interview and its snowing, bring boots. Do not try to climb up the i...

If you routinely keep praying mantis' as pets, understand that when pissed off, they DO have the ...

Yes, you cannot feel any pain in your left hand due to nerve damage. No, you should not tell your...

Do not play the Sims drunk. Everyone will die. #LFMF

When jumping over a snow bank to get to the sidewalk always check who is on the other side. You m...

Right after my husband and I got married we were sleeping and I rolled over. At the same time, he...

Great Idea: Calling 911 about the suspicious liquid. Good Idea: Telling the chemist (me) about i...

Never buy a set of knives for $40. Three months later the handle will break while you're cutting ...