dizzy86

Me: Mom did you ever do cocaine? Mom: I did it once on accident. Me: (Laughing) How do you do i...

(Mom looking at my bank account.) Sister: Are you ok? Mom: *sobbing* SHE WENT TO WENDY'S!

Mum: Don't hurt your brother while I'm gone! Wait until I get back so I can see what happens.

(When I was about six, my dad took out a sumac tree in the back yard) Me: Are you going to leave...

Me: Hey mom, dad's busy, I need you to take me to go get cupcakes. Mom: What? I thought you were...

(I'm a lesbian. This was the first time my mom had met a girlfriend of mine.) Mom: So, are you g...

(Mom's method of curing hiccups when I was 5): Just hold your breath until you turn blue and pass...

(My Mom and I are at the bank. Mom walks up to the bank manager.) Manager: How can I help you to...