The latest from foodporno
(A VIP is coming too my school tomorrow.) (After I said I saw no secret service agents) Dad: Maybe they hired ninjas and you just didn't see them!
(Sitting in the living room with my cousin and grandma while my cousin and I are texting.) Grandma: Are you kids doing that prono on there?! Me: Grandma, what is prono? Grandma: Prono, you know, naked pictures! Me: No grandma, we are not doing prono. Grandma: Well, that's good! I never know about kids these days!
(My Mom and I are at the bank. Mom walks up to the bank manager.) Manager: How can I help you today? Mom: (looks around carefully) I need to withdraw you-know-what from vault you-know-where. Manager: (Looks around too and nods) Of course, but we must keep our voices low otherwise the muggles will hear us. Me: Am I going to Hogwarts?! Mom and Manager: SHUT UP!!!
My dad: One day I was in a park, and I saw this person's ass, and I thought "One day I'll marry that ass!" Me: I thought you met mom a different way? Dad: Oh no, it turned out that the owner of the ass was a dude. But still, it was the sexiest ass I've ever seen in my life.
