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(A VIP is coming too my school tomorrow.) (After I said I saw no secret service agents) Dad: May...

(Sitting in the living room with my cousin and grandma while my cousin and I are texting.) Grand...

(My Mom and I are at the bank. Mom walks up to the bank manager.) Manager: How can I help you to...

My dad: One day I was in a park, and I saw this person's ass, and I thought "One day I'll marry t...