jessygirl345

Grandpa is trying to decide what to eat. Aunt: You should make a smoothie. Grandpa: You should ...

Dad to the cat: I won't let any walruses eat you now, will I? (We live in Nevada by the way)

working out in the garden on a hot day Mom: im sweating like a hooker at a southern baptist revi...

(My dad had fallen asleep watching a movie and was talking in his sleep.) Dad: It's interesting....

A month ago at a grocery store Me: Dad, can I get some Coke? Dad: NO! Me: As in Coca-Cola. Da...

Mom: Don't get old. It sucks. Eldest sister: Meaning we should die young? Middle sister: Yay! I...

(Dad and I are outside at night time) Dad: It really is nice out. Me: Yeah... (Wild animal bar...

(My brother trying to prove that my dad ignores him) Brother: DAD! HELP ME!! Dad: Ryan. Shut th...

*Mom taking family picture at Grandma's 80th birthday* Mom: OK, say cheese! Grandma: Sex! Cous...

(My Father, in a bar, saying that the music on a jukebox stops whenever someone says something em...

Mom while at my sister's house: Well, it's in a shady neighborhood. My sister & Me: ??? Mom: Yo...

*My dad and I were at the mall and some guy was handing out free samples of their new fudge* Fre...

(During a quiet dinner) 14yr old bro to my dad: So, what kind of name is Mark, anyway? Dad: It'...

(at a family reunion to celebrate my godmother's return from a 2-year mission in Africa.) Me: (A...