jkkelsey

Mom: It's not a lazy eye, the other one is just an over achiever

(talking about things I want to do this summer) Me: I think I would like to try bungee jumping t...

Me: I swear, if I get a good grade on this test, I'm gonna s**t myself Mom: Well, thats a little...

(when I was 10) Mom: Some girls body's mature faster, they have boobs. But girls like you's min...

(One time when my mom was angry with me) Mom: I brought you into this world, and I'll take you o...

Dad: Never trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die.

Dad: "When a boy asks how you like your eggs in the morning...say "Unfertilized""

(After receiving a frantic voice mail on my phone) Me:Whats wrong? Mom:YOUR BROTHER HAS A GIRLF...

Grandma: All my friends are dead. This is my friend now (Holds up wine bottle)