The latest from kanthous
(I was goofing around on Memebase and my mom looked over my shoulder.) Mom: As soon as you're sone with that, I want you to CLEAN ALL THE THINGS!!! Me: ... All the things? Really? Mom: ALL THE THINGS.
(My friend's mom yelling to her younger brother for him to get out of bed) Mom: Trevor! Brother (still in the other room): I'm up... Mom: Get outta bed right now or I'm going to come in there and model my underwear for you!
(At a restaurant, a song begins to play.) Mom: Who sings this song? She has a really nice voice! Me: ... Justin Beiber. Mom: *listens for another few seconds* This whole "naming girls with boy names" thing has gotten way out of hand.
Mom: I love your new car, you must have heated seats? Me: Yep, why? Mom: 'Cause it was either that, or I just peed my pants.
At a drive through restaurant window: Mom: Can I get an iced coffee please? Employee: We don't have iced coffee. Mom: Do you have Ice? Employee: Yes. Mom: Do you have coffee? Employee: Yes. Mom: Ta-daaaaaa!!!
Take it. IN THE MOUTH!! (Mom handing me my medicine)
Dad: Your brother showed me that show with the two boys and the girl in an apartment across the hall. I think it was called the Gang Bang Theory. Brother: We watched the BIG Bang Theory dad...
My mother: "You dad won't let me rant. I need to rant!!! I've got, like, "rant constipation" and it's just coming out in little farts..." Me: "MUM!!!!"
Sister-"You put Bailey's in your cereal?" Mom-"We ran out of milk."
Me: How did you manage figuring out how to join Matt's event on Facebook? Dad: I don’t know how I responded because I tried and could not figure it out. I clicked on party’s and before I could get out of there I think I signed up for a kegger party, some gay guys dog baptism, and some fat chick with a full beard is coming to pick me up at 9:30 tomorrow night on a moped. I am never going on facebook again.
Me: I think it's really weird that you and dad go to Hooters for dinner. Mom: No. What's weird is they only serve Pepsi.
Mom: I opened up the ice cream and ended up with nuts between my legs. Grandma: Well, isn't that what you usually like?
