kmi07

When texting the guy you like, double-check the text you're about to send. Remember you're asking...

When the bathroom stall is out of paper, the pack of menthol tissues in your pocket should never ...

Even if a bee is dead, it may still have its stinger. Remember this when you go to pick one up. #...

Slightly Bad Idea: Playing Truth or Dare with your friends. Bad Idea: Picking dare. Your friends ...

(Me playing Plants vs. Zombies) Grandma: Hey! That is a funny game! Those grey guys look like yo...

(My little cousin wanted a dog, but we bought him a gerbil.) Store Worker: which one do you like...

(Dad got a deer this season and is processing it himself). Me: Ugh... There's body parts all ins...

(Going to visit my grandma, my little sister just walks in her house) Me:(to my sister) Hey, lea...

Mom: Is it true your sister smokes weed? Me: Yeah. Duh. Mom: What problems could a fifteen-year...

Little Sister: Dad, you're putting butter in a cup! Who does that?! Me: Cool people. And dad. D...

(*Me, texting my Dad*) Me: So can I keep the cat inside the house? Dad: I'll have to ask the Ma...

(Us at table eating tapioca. My uncle Ralph *has finished his but there is no more): Uncle Ralph...

Dad: Remember, porn for free is sexuality. You need a profit before you can call it a profession.

Me: Dad, I can't remember what RNA is! Dad: Remember, RNA is sort of like an aggressive date. ...

Mom: When you were a baby I swear I'd take a bullet for you in the blink of an eye... Now you're ...

(Talking about moving to a town in Washington with my mother) Me: We're moving to Pullman, Washi...

(Seeing woman wearing a mini skirt in the middle of winter) Me: Jeez lady put some pants on. G...

(Me and my uncle walking through a park he's 23 and I'm 17.) Uncle: *Points to a group of bushes...

Mom: Don't sleep with anyone. Me: I know, I know. Mom: No, I'm serious, they don't look that...

(Talking to my 9-year-old brother) Me: Hey, do you know who is coming on Saturday night? Mom: Y...

Me: Mum, can I use the tuna in the fridge? Dad: What are you going to use it for? Me: (sarcasti...