lynettewhite

(There was a priest who visited my great-grandfather after my great-uncle died. He was looking at...

(Dad hits rumble strips while driving.) Me: What are those for? dad: That's how blind people dr...

(My mom is reading the local paper.) Me: Looks like some people were hit by lightning last night...

Me: [Dr.] Kevorkian died this morning! Mom: Oh really? Suicide?

Me (to dad standign on a ladder to fix the roof): If you see another wasp's nest tell me so I can...

When it's your first time in San Francisco and you're out at a nightclub, do not ask the tall, br...

booping a doggie on the nose will get you an enthusiastic wet, slobbery kiss. booping a ferret on...