medusa26

(Before watching Borat, we warned my grandma of the nudity.) Grandma: (while literally sitting o...

Me: Let's watch Twilight! Dad: I'd rather rub my penis against a cheese grater.

(talking about guys giving handshakes) Dad: I'M A MAN! SQUEEZE ME!!

Dad: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

(Talking about a baseball player & watching a game) Mom: that boy needs food, he looks like a ch...

(My mom talking about the size of my chest while trying on clothes.) Mom: Good God, look at thos...

*Mum is asked for ID over counter* Mum: Here is my license, my license to thrill.