mtomlinson

Mom: I wish my eyes were t.v.'s so I could just open them and watch things.

(Playing Grand Theft Auto for the first time) Mum: This game is horrible. I bumped into a man's ...

*While watching Intervention* Dad: All crackheads love Mountain Dew. Me: Hey! I love Mounta...

(Mom sitting on couch, looks at my sister and starts laughing) Sister: what are you laughing at ...

(talking about things I want to do this summer) Me: I think I would like to try bungee jumping t...

Me: I need to quit drinking for awhile, it takes me like 12 beers to get drunk. Mum: Just take a...

Mom: Don't get one of those memory foam mattresses. They're great for sleeping but not for other...