nuku

(Talking about Judgment Day) Me: Well, a lot of Catholics believe that animals don’t have souls....

(After coming home from a movie) me- so in the movie, the chick's parents werent her real ones, ...

(My mother got two bruises on her wrists because our dogs lunged while she was walking them.) El...

(While sitting in my room, my dad bursts in) Dad: I just wrote 'Hand Soap' in Spanish on the gro...

Brother: "Why is your tongue so blue?" Me: "Oh, I had a jolli-" Dad: "She saw the Blue Man Grou...

(After a long hockey game with a blind ref) Uncle: Hey Ref! Are you pregnant?! You've missed 2 p...

My brother's fail: Your little brother just got back from the dentist where he recieved novacain,...

Mom: Be good. If you can't be good, be careful. If you can't be careful, name it after me.

Texting dad. Me: Hi, how are you guys doing? Dad: Hi, honey, having fun! Dog rolled in pile of ...