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My sister once said, "Hipsters are always denying that they're hipsters." I said, "I think you're...

Sister at bus stop- "Aren't hipsters a type of girls' underwear?" I began to correct her, stopp...

It's really hard not to look hipster when you're cold.

(telling me and my brother about the trip to Bangkok he took in his twenties) Dad: So we picked ...

*my little brother had heard the word 'vagina' at school, and i was trying to explain why he shou...

(We were touring a historic house with my parents and our daughter) Tour Guide: Canopy beds were...

*asian mom being asian* Mom: I heard your ex finished his PhD recently. He will earn a lot. Why ...

*Me talking about the road trip with my Grandpa and how we went shooting with people that happene...

*After moving away for college, talking with my mom* Mom: How are things? What have you been u...

Mom: What's that thing called that's like a bagel with a hole in it? Me: ... A donut? Mom: *an...

My dad's response when I told him that I was a vegetarian for the first time one Christmas (exten...

(All day my 89 yr. old Grandmother had been hitting on my 19yr old cousin's friend, but wouldn't ...

12th Grade Teacher: I wonder why they call a woman's private parts her 'beaver'? Me (...

(My dad likes to sing out whatever is on his mind) Dad: Which-doo dee doo- Redneck hobo-bop boo b...

83-Year-Old Granny: You never stitched the leader of the Chain Gang's face back up dear. Don't te...

Mom: So my friends and I were talking, and we decided that breasts were hot, but that the definin...

Dad: Drugs are too expensive for you to ever do. Me: Ok.... Dad: No seriously! Tobacco and alco...

Me: Dad, you love Kelsey (our puppy) more than you love me. Dad: Well, she loves me more than yo...

(On my coming out) Dad: Oh dammit, you're sure? Me: Yeah. Dad: You've slept with a woman and y...

Sister: I really hate homphobes and racists. Mom: You know you could have shortened that sentenc...

Dad: Son, I am so disappointed in you right now. Brother: What? Why? Dad: When you went off to ...