raggamuffiin

I cut myself with a spoon because knives are too mainstream

Mom: When you die and go to Heaven, God's gunna say, "You? I don't...I don't remember creating yo...

Me: Mom, I love Sam from Glee! Mom: Who's that? Me: The blonde kid...? Mom: Trouty Mouth? Me:...

*While talking about my grampa* Me: i wonder why he hasn't died yet Sister: Maybe god loves him...

me: *sitting with my friends at Starbucks after school, none of them had ever met my dad before* ...

Dad: Yes, I am going to murder you little ice cream cone, one lick at a time!