redgoose

(I am moving into my dorm in a week) Dad: The first time you get drunk in college you must drunk...

Grandma: You know how some people don't like clowns and think they're scary? Me: Yeah... Grand...

Mom: You know I hate glitter. Glitter is the herpes of the craft world.

(upon finding an old black banana in the fridge) Dad: Are you READY? Me: For what? Dad: ARE YO...

Dad: If cats could open doors, we'd all be dead!

Me, playing Angry Birds: Dad, have you ever played Angry Birds? Dad: No, but I've seen the movie...

(I got to much ice in my cup and dumped some of the ice out.) Dad: HEY! Do you know how many ice...

Mum (to Dad): So, how does this jumper look? Dad: Clitoris-y.

Grandma: Help! I've fallen and I can't reach my beer!!! Brother: (from other room) Uh... Dude? I...

*Me and my mom are watching a documentary about women's prisons* Mom: Hey! I've been there! That...