The latest from roxashi1
Dad: Don't go into the dark, the Boogie Man will get you. Me: You're the Boogie man, and the Tooth Fairy, and Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny Dad: Don't talk about my sex life.
Mom: I love the internet language. Boyfriend: You mean like viruses and trojans? Mom: Yeah, those. *snickering* You know if you use a Trojan, you won't get a virus!
Mom: Hum the Star Spangled Banner Me: Why? Mom: Well is it patriotic? Me: Yeah (I hum it for her) Mom: Wait isn't that the national anthem? Is the Star Spangled Banner the national anthem? Me: Yes Mom: Oh, I didn't know that. That's exactly what I want!
(In the living room about 15 minutes before Thanksgiving Dinner with 20 family members and Grandma.) Gram: I think somebody farted. Younger Brother: You know what they say Gram, they who smelled it, dealt it. Gram: (laughs) That's true. (*Pause*) Gram; No, I was wrong, somebody's crapped themselves.
(Me and my dad sitting on the sofa watching TV.) Me: *Stretching and my shirt comes up a bit.* My Dad: JESUS YOU'VE GOT A HAIRY PRICK! Me: O.o Dad: BELLY I MEANT BELLY!
Mom: Can I have some ice cream? Dad: Erm... Mom: I'll give you sex.
