shenja

Dad: We will always support you. No matter what. Unless they find a dead hooker in your car with ...

mom- do you have a strapless bra for your dress? me- no... sister- she can borrow mine. mom- i...

Mom (talking about her new medication): They're bigger than before but I'll manage. I'm good at f...

My grandma on the answering machine: Hi Scott! Hi Mel! Hi Haley! Hi...oh damn, who's the other one?

While watching "The Departed"- My Dad: Well, what is he? Me: What is who? Dad: Well, is he goo...

*The day of me and my mothers birthday* Mom: Happy Birthday, sweetie! Me: Happy Birthday mom!...

*Mom telling us about a crazy dream she had (back when I was 12)* Mom: So you and the dog weren'...

(disclaimer: none of my family members are actually racist) Mom: OMG look! Black people! They ba...

Mom: basically you are trying to cross the line between expensive ho and cheap ho (discussing cl...