tararleigh

(My Mom putting the hamster cage in the car) Me: Mom, why are you putting a seatbelt on the Hams...

Grandfather: I got a big hamburger this time. I couldn't eat it all. I always get the little hamb...

(on vacation in Mexico) Dad: Why is everyone speaking Spanish here? Mom: Get out of my car.

(after I hit my brother) Him: You know, I don't like being hit, especially when the hitter hits ...

Me (driving and yelling at a driver following me too closely): Get off my butt! Mom: YOU LEAVE M...

Friend: I don't know what kind of pickles I like. Mom: You should have a pickle tasting party.

(Cooking pancakes with Dad.) Me: They're smoking. Dad: Thanks! That's a good thing, right? Me:...

Mom: I don't know about this iPad thing. It's too smart. Scary smart. Me: It's just a miniature ...

Me: Ms. Meyer told us to do page 113 in the mathbook. Dad: Ms. Meyer, isn't she the hot one? Me...

Me: Why are you buying a chainsaw? Dad: It's only 20$! How can I not?!

Mother: (Leaving the house) No parties, no boys... Me: Why boys? Mother: I don't know. Me: Can...

(I came into the kitchen without my dad noticing me) Dad: *Turns around* Oh! Where the hell did ...

(After we were caught speeding and the policeman went to write down the ticket) Policeman: Well,...

(Speaking to the dog) Mom: What's your excuse for not going to church, Sadie? No thumbs you say?

Mom and I: *sitting in silence* Mom: *out of nowhere* ...I think I'm going to go into the garage...

(While at a store that had glitter all over the floors) Mom: It looks like a unicorn blew up in ...

*this was last winter, I had a loud cough for aaaaages* Me : *Coughing really loud* Mom bursts ...

(Nicki Minaj comes onto the radio in the car) Dad: Is that Drake? Me: No, it's Nicki Minaj. Da...

Mom: Grace, I'm fat. I don't like being fat. Go make me some cookies.

(Mom knocks on my door) Me: I'm getting dressed! Just a minute! Mom: (listening with her ear to...