The latest from tomboy0219
Never give your girlfriend your phone to respond to a text message while you are driving. She will text your mechanic coworkers "i'z a bunny." #LFMF
A) No matter how desperate you are for a caffeine fix, don't snort green tea powder. B)Better yet, don't make any decisions when you haven't slept in three days. #LFMF
When your makeup bottle is clogged due to dried makeup, don't squeeze it to try and get the makeup out. It will explode in your face. #LFMF
Never attempt to amuse yourself by flicking a sleeping cat's ear until it swipes at you. You may think you have cat-like reflexes, but cats have cat-like reflexes and CLAWS. #LFMF
Good idea: going to the pool with your friends Bad idea: staying there so long that your eyes turn red Worse idea: going to buy shitloads of candy afterwards. The cashier will think you're high on illegal drugs and will call the police. #LFMF
NEVER sing along to Nirvana's "Rape Me" on your mp3. There is no explaining it. #LFMF
Tried to log onto CIA website. Computer shut down. Sheer panic. Turns out cable fell out. #LFMF
Bad Idea: Falling asleep on the toilet at work. Worse Idea: Not stretching your legs before standing up. Outcome: Boss knocks loudly on the door, you wake up and jump up immediately only to find out that the paper towel dispenser can't support your weight and they use pine-sol to clean the floors. #LFMF
