umadbrah

(talking about things I want to do this summer) Me: I think I would like to try bungee jumping t...

Mom: Don't get one of those memory foam mattresses. They're great for sleeping but not for other...

Dad (Leaving for School): Alright be good now. And if you can't be good, don't get caught.

Mom (before my dad had surgery): It says here that you can only have clear liquids after midnight...

Me: (laughing while drinking water) OMG I was able to swallow! Don't make me laugh like that! Mo...

*After my mom finds out I have a girlfriend* Mom: Son, I'm happy you've found a nice young wom...

*at department store checking out* Cashier:...and if you'll sign your name here... Mom: My name...

(As i'm walking into the kitchen) Mom (to my dad): "You can't just put ketchup in someones armpi...