United Airlanes is the Worst Airlane EVER!

In May of 2012, Tumblr user LeonsBuddyDave made a fake Twitter account with the name "United Airlanes" (as opposed to United AirLINES). He posted a few gag tweets and then left the account alone. Recently, he decided to check up on the account just for kicks and saw that quite a few people had tweeted at the parody account believing it was the real thing.

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  • 01

    So disrespectful!

    Text - Follow The @unitedairlanes staff at Gate C8 in @Dulles_Airport are a complete disrespect #news Reply Retweet Favorite More 8:56 PM-6 Jul 13 @Dulles_Airport Reply to United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 12h Count your blessings. At JFK they throw knives. Details 5h @unitedairlanes is that supposed to be funny? @JetBlue for one takes tweets regarding their company serious. Might want to take some tips... Details United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 6m @JetBlue No, it's a very serious warning. We acci
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  • 02
    Text - NEW YORK Mike Petke IS MYOME 1h Hey @unitedairlanes Our new player Clint wasn't on the flight to EWR. Can you double check stowage? #DempseyWatch #RBNY Expand United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 1h The crew's telling me that he's back here, and he's scared. Somehow got himself locked into a pet carrier and flat-out panicked Reply Retweet Favorite More Hide conversation 5 11 RETWEETS FAVORITES 9:22 AM-2 Aug 13 Details
  • 03

    Fuel the fire, men!

    Text - Tommy Royce @ @unitedairlanes cool.. so it's MY fault that YOU guys lost my fking backpack because I HAD to pack it in the overhead bin in the back? 2h Еxpand United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 2h Luggage closest to the rear of the plane gets top priority to be shoveled into the furnace. Gotta keep these planes warm somehow. Reply Retwe et Favorite.** More Hide conversation 15 27 FAVORITES RETWEETS 8:59 AM-2 Aug 13 Details
  • 04
    Text - jennifer@ @unitedairlanes- how is it that I've contacted you 2 weeks ago, received a reference number/ case id but never heard anything 3h else. Еxрand United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 2h Our service centers have an alarming turnover rate; your representative may have simply died before writing your case down Reply Retwe et Favorite* More Hide conversation 15 19 RETWEETS FAVORITES 8:34 AM-2 Aug 13 Details
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  • 05
    Text - Whitney Curry @ Missed our flight to Newark but thankfully the customer service ladies @unitedairlanes were amazing! New flight! #iah 4h Expand United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 3h They're plenty gentle until you make prolonged eye contact with them - if you do, don't blink, don't ever blink Hide convers ation Reply tRetweet FavoriteMore 13 18 RETWEETS FAVORITES 7:55 AM-2 Aug 13 Details
  • 06

    Come on and slam! And welcome to the JAM!

    Text - gossiprag @ @unitedairlanes Will the Hill Valley-Phoenix-Boston-London skyway be jammed on October 21st, 2015? I have a mission to accomplish 19h Еxpand United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 17h Expect it to be fully slammed and jammed Reply tRetweet Favorite More Hide conversation 5 2 RETWEETS FAVORITES 5:42 PM-1 Aug 13 Details
  • 07
    Text - sexual flavours @ 1 Aug @unitedairlanes i have been camping in one of your cargo carriers for the pass two weeks Еxpand United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 1 Aug There's a guard schedule on a clipboard next to the exit. The longer you avoid capture the more miles you earn Reply tRetweet FavoriteMore Hide conversation 11 24 RETWEETS FAVORITES 10:28 AM-1 Aug 13 Details
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  • 08
    Text - United @united Why do some runways crisscross each other? Learn the answer to that question and more in this month's #askthepilot. bit.ly/13XncnV 26 Jul Expand United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 30 Jul @united because air travel isn't already loaded with fear Reply 3 Retweet Favorite More Hide conversation 2 25 RETWEETS FAVORITES 11:07 PM-30 Jul 13 Details
  • 09
    Text - Craig Smalley @ United# 151 Boston to EWR is delayed thx 2 them begging passengers 2 give up seats so flight attendants can board frustrated @unitedairlanes 31 Jul Expand United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 31 Jul Our apologies- that flight is supposed to be entirely attendants, being served by two lucky random passengers. Opposite day! Reply Retwe et Favorite Hide conversation More 13 28 RETWEETS FAVORITES 5:50 PM-31 Jul 13 Details
  • 10
    Text - stepharoozoo@ @unitedairlanes miles are worthless! Plus you can't buy much with 10k miles except a DVD- who watches DVDS anymore? 31 Jul #unitedairlinessucks from United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 31 Jul United Airlanes reminds you that DVDS are as sharp as they are archaic, and that cutting tools will be valuable on the island Reply Retweet FavoriteMore Hide conversation 17 36 RETWEETS FAVORITES 12:19 PM -31 Jul 13 Details
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  • 11
    Text - RetiredHockeyMom@ @unitedairlanes 30 mins on hold to fix YOUR ticketing problem? 22 Jul TOTALLY NOT cool! Еxpand United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 30 Jul I'm 49 years old, I haven't been cool in like thirty years. Thanks for rubbing it in Reply tRetweet Favorite More Hide conversation 13 FAVORITES 10:18 PM-30 Jul 13 Details
  • 12
    Text - Jacob A. Moreno @ 14 Jul @unitedairlanes lost my brothers carseat. Y'all suck from San Antonio, TX United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 12h In our defense, it's really comfortable. If a bit small. Reply Delete Favorite** More Hide conversation 10:11 PM-30 Jul 13 Details
  • 13
    Text - William Dale, MD,PhD@ 28 Jul @unitedairlanes Yes - they are horrible, in my experience, and I avoid them if possible Expand United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 30 Jul In our defense, it says on our website that we do not carry the equipment on domestic flights to cater to nerds Reply tRetweet FavoriteMore Hide conversation 13 15 RETWEETS FAVORITES 9:58 PM-30 Jul 13 Details
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  • 14
    Text - Michael Soncina @ For those following I am stuck still at #Buffalo @unitedairlanes thanks for trying to fight the weather. You are doing well! 27 Feb Expand United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 30 Jul Here at United Airlanes, we strive to not let a little thing like the fury of God prevent us from delivering tolerable service. Reply t Retweet Favorite * More Hide conversation 13 22 FAVORITES RETWEETS 10:05 PM-30 Jul 13 Details
  • 15
    Text - 19h @unitedairlanes Flew UA and they lost my luggage AND I COuldn't get a refund or anything #TheFmkBro Expand United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 18h On top of that, there was NOTHING good in your luggage. Who the hell still uses a Zune? Reply Retwe et Favorite* More Hide conversation 27 59 RETWEETS FAVORITES 4:22 PM-1 Aug 13 Details
  • 16

    What is this "TV" you speak of?

    Text - Pap Artist @ @unitedairlanes how is it that you are the most expensive airline and yet don't have TVs on planes. Get with the program! #notv #longflight 21 Jul Expand United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 30 Jul TV? On a plane? We allow you to exchange worthless paper for the opportunity to ride a missile across the world. How dare you Reply Retweet Favorite.More Hide conversation 33 49 RETWEETS FAVORITES 10:05 PM-30 Jul 13 Details
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  • 17
    Text - Robert Gillespie@ This @unitedairlanes flight crew is incompetent can't load the; plane horrible service 28 Jul Exрand United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 30 Jul You should see our crews load a t-shirt bazooka though Ralfio can in seconds. He can even hit business class from the cockpit! Reply t Retwe et Favorite** More Hide conversation 8 RETWEETS FAVORITES 9:54 PM-30 Jul 13 Details
  • 18
    Text - Conor Whately @ 26 Jul Shout out to @unitedairlanes for stranding my wife at YWG for nearly 12 hour for a short flight to Chicago. Excellent service Expand United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 12h After the first six hours, she technically belonged to us. You're just lucky we met our monthly quota Reply Delete Favorite ** More Hide conversation
  • 19
    Text - Joe Uridil 14 Jul @unitedairlanes your service and flights SUCK. Why bother w the fit attendants? Just need used car salesmen to panhandle the nuts CORPMA Expand United Airlanes @unitedairlanes 30 Jul We hire and train only the best to handle the nuts Reply t Retweet Favorite .More Hide conversation 7 20 RETWEETS FAVORITES 10:11 PM-30 Jul 13 Details
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  • 20

    Have a nice life! Err... flight!

    Text - United Airlanes Follow @unitedairlanes In the event of an emergency water landing, your seat cushion doubles as a flotation device to keep you above water until you freeze and die Favorite More Reply Retweet 158 76 fcons RETWEETS FAVORITES 10:07 PM -31 Jul 13

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