Russian President Vladimir Putin Has a Super Bowl Ring and I Don't and That Sucks
What do you get for the boy who has everything? A Super Bowl ring.
Look, I'm not saying Putin and I have a lot in common. In many ways, we're very different. For instance, he's a walking human-rights violation and the president of Russia, and last night I ate too much Chinese food and said, "My tum tum hurts."
But if there's one thing that we do have in common, it's that we both never won a Super Bowl.
Yet, for whatever reason, he has a Super Bowl ring, and I don't. What, just because you have mysterious ties to the U.S. President, the reality-TV gameshow host of your dreams, I don't get a ring. That's some grade A, top-choice bullshit.
Here's the story of how Putin got his ring without winning the Super Bowl.
Yeah, we all would.
One of my favorite Patriots fun facts is that Putin has Robert Kraft's 3rd Super Bowl ring cuz "he sort of enjoyed it so he kept it on"— Poor Homie Sahâ„¢ (@foxy_grandpa25) February 2, 2017
"Beautiful ring. May I try it on?" "Sure. Can I have the ring back?" "What ring?"
This guy gets it.
I think he was actually like, please don't hurt me, Mr. President.
Putin straight up JACKED Robert Kraft's '04 Super Bowl ring and Kraft said "its chill, I've got three more"— Jeff Danger (@ryantheflyin) January 24, 2017
It was all a big ruse.
Robert Kraft put Donald Trump in the White House to get his Super Bowl ring back from Vladimir Putin— Tatum SZN (@Unjujoshua) February 2, 2017