Mom invites family to 6-year-old's music performance, gets disappointed when none of them show: 'One hour before, her aunt, uncle, and grandpa canceled'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 7, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

What kind of message does it send to a child when they can't depend on their family?

Time and again, we hear that the best thing to do for kids while they are growing up is to keep being present and engaged with what is happening in their lives. This may be most important from parental figures, but it is also something that other family members should think about. The more that the village seems present, the better.

Admittedly, sometimes other life priorities get in the way, and more distant relatives are not always going to be able to be there for every single milestone or achievement that a child celebrates. 

As a general rule, though, consistency is important, and they should show up when they said they would. Children tend to remember when adults betray their trust, and if somebody does it enough times, that person is not as likely to be somebody that they will choose to be around when they get older. The phenomenon of no-contact is only getting more popular and less stigmatized. While nobody should be too hard on themselves for the occasional letdown, a pattern of this behavior only reinforces a poor familial relationship.

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  • A group of people in a small audience applauding
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A group of people in a small audience applauding

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • In this story, a mom of a 6-year-old whose father had passed when she was a toddler asked some extended family to attend her upcoming music performance, after she noticed other kids at her extracurricular activities often had multiple family members with them. Initially, they all agreed that they would attend.

    However, closer to the date, everybody who had been invited made excuses not to go to the performance. The mom was upset, as she had moved with her daughter to the area specifically so her dad's side of the family could see her more often. She wondered if they should move.

  • Am I overreacting about no one showing up for my daughter’s music program?

    My daughter's (6) dad passed away before she turned one. Since then, I have stayed in the same area because she has siblings and family on her dad's side in the area. I (30f) have no family here. I have a few friends that help babysit every now and then but that's it. The closest family I have is 3 hours away. Most of the time, it's just me and her.
    via Fit-Artist-1169
  • Well recently, she has been noticing a lot more that her classmates and other kids in her clubs/extra curricular activities have lots of family that come to their events. She especially notices the dads, but notices other family members as well. She has started asking me to make sure I invite her
    via Fit-Artist-1169
  • aunt, uncle, and grandpa (dad's side) to everything she has. I also invite two of my closest friends because she has positive relationships with both of them and they feel like family to her. I have talked with each of these people about how much it means to her to have family and have people come to her things besides me.
    via Fit-Artist-1169
  • Today, she had a music program. I invited her aunt, uncle, grandpa, and my two friends weeks ago. All confirmed they were coming. One friend told me they couldn't come about a week ago because their own child had something come up. I was very understanding of that. No
    via Fit-Artist-1169
  • problem. But today, about one hour before the show, her aunt, uncle, and grandpa all canceled. The uncle and grandpa didn't give a reason. The aunt said she didn't have a ride, even though I had offered to pick her up multiple times. Then my other friend canceled about 30 minutes before because they "had too much to do around the house."
    via Fit-Artist-1169
  • Maybe I am overreacting, but I am ped. I have been staying in this area for 6 years for her to be close to her dad's family and they have never showed up to a single event. Today feels like the last straw for me. I have had a few job opportunities come up out of state and, until now, I hadn't
    via Fit-Artist-1169
  • taken them seriously because I want my daughter to grow up having some connection to her dad. But, at this point it seems like she won't have that connection and support from his family anyway? They don't even make an effort to see her/invite her over when they have her other siblings over. Am I overreacting for considering taking other jobs and moving because they didn't show up for her?
    via Fit-Artist-1169
  • Close-up of a young girl playing the violin against a white background
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Close-up of a young girl playing the violin against a white background

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • ImaginationNo7722 I am so sorry. You are not overreacting. I am sure your daughter did amazing at the music program.
    via ImaginationNo7722
  • No_Couple1369 I would move and totally use that as an excuse for her. I'm sure they would have come, but they live so far away.
    via No_Couple1369
  • dncrmom NOR can you transfer with your job closer to your family?
    via dncrmom
  • Akmommydearest NOR move by your sister. Right now she really isn't getting his family nor yours this way she would get your family.
    via Akmommydearest
  • 5150-gotadaypass NOR! They really s k! I'm sure your daughter was amazing today! She deserves to have people show up.
    via 5150-gotadaypass
  • I would definitely move for a better financial opportunity. Who knows, maybe when she's further away they'll realize what they missed, but I doubt it.
    via 5150-gotadaypass
  • Lynne1915 NOR Joining the move group. But don't do it in anger do it to further your daughters growth and your job possibilities. Don't cut her dad's family off just leave them where they are. On the back burner. They or she can get in touch when and if they wish. Just don't count on them
    via Lynne1915
  • It's time to branch outward and upward for both of you. Find a good position, a new home and go for it
    via Lynne1915
  • Salt_My_Watermelon Not Overreacting. Stop limiting your own life for people who can't make time for you and your daughter. Take the better job offer. Move somewhere new. Do you have other family
    via Salt_My_Watermelon
  • that does make her a priority? Move closer to them. Or just start over in a new place with new expectations and opportunities.
    via Salt_My_Watermelon

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family drama Music parenting performance family daughter mom
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