Ed Hardy Condoms: Because Your Penis Might as Well Dress Like a Douchebag

The Ed Hardy clothing company, popularized by jackasses everywhere, has announced a line of condoms. These jimmy-jackets come in 5 "passionate" flavors guaranteed to have your date feeling like they settled. 

And, rumor has it, that if you pop on that rocket-protector it while covered in Axe body spray, it opens up a magical portal to New Jersey.