It is not a good idea to tell your 3-year-cousin that you are "feeding" your DVD-player. You´ll ...

Open up all email attachments before forwarding them on to other employees..

When about to jump off a clif into the ocean ALWAYS test the temperature of the water FIRST unles...

If you walk into an invisible object when you are entering the shower, it's a magical thing calle...

It's difficult to hold in a fart and sneeze at the same time... Just go to the restroom.

When you are using a weed eater and notice a bee land on your hand, do not use said weed eater wh...

Beware of baking cookies in stoneware pans. They remain nuclear hot, and you will have a tray ful...

Never hold your guitar pick in your mouth, you will swallow it and it will hurt, both going in, a...

Oreos + warm apple juice = horrible vomit cookies.

When holding coco powder and cheese powder, remember which goes on your pasta and which goes in y...

If you have a habit of sneezing 7-10 times in a row...for the love of god put down your coffee. U...

Before warming up, putting milk in, and sipping the "coffee" you found in the fridge, ask your so...

Never try to clean off a foot of snow with your windshield wipers, especially if your car door is...

When you're exhausted and numbly going through your bedtime routine, remember that you were also ...

If you own every season of your favorite TV show on DVD and are watching a brand new episode on T...

If you happen to work at Pizza Hut, don't turn around too quickly when carrying the pizza to a ta...

If you like to wear slippers around the house in the morning, for the love of God remember to tak...

If there's a guy talking between all your iPod songs, then you're listening to the radio, pressin...

Always wear gloves while making chicken with habenero sauce. No matter how well you think you was...

If a guy in a wheelchair with no legs wins BINGO do not give him socks as a prize. #LFMF

Hear someone talking in the other room late at night? Before you panic and call police, give a li...

The top of the toilet tank is not the best place to put your cell while in the shower. It will ri...

If you just cut your gums really bad while flossing, reconsider using mouthwash afterwards

Do not affix a "Celebrate" postage stamp when mailing a sympathy card.

When your going to the fridge in the complete dark to get a drink before bed and get blinded by t...

NEVER say loudly, especially in a crowded restaurant with little kids at the next table, "I like ...