Your day can easily be broken up into thirds: ⅓ of your day is spent sleeping, ⅓ of your day is spent running errands and keeping your life on track, and the last ⅓ of your blasted life, is spent creating spreadsheets for a nepo baby CEO who needs constant handholding to get through the workweek and is paid 10x your salary. We don't like those numbers, but the numbers don't lie. That last ⅓ of your life is sucking 100% of your energy and costing you your rapidly aging complexion. If you're Goog…

Today is not a good day to interact with people

Talk to us at your own risk

Going to work is undoubtedly the lamest necessary evil in our lives. Not only are you wasting 8 precious hours each day, but you're lining the pockets of some nepo-baby CEO who's only ever worked on his yacht racing 'career' and assembling his Burning Man looks. While your boss may have never worked a day in their life, you're all too familiar with the creaking sounds of the freeway when it's commuter traffic time, that feeling when you skip breakfast because you're running late to the office,…

Unless you have free donuts, don't talk to us today

The three day weekend has me feeling rested, rejuvenated, and it inspired a new-found hatred for my job

No amount of coffee will change our mind

When I'm feeling misanthropic, or just cranky as hell , I often think about the song “Break Stuff” by the seminal rap rock group Limp Bizkit. The group, who hails from Jacksonville, Florida, describes “one of those days” in an incredibly accurate fashion. Here are the lyrics: "It's just one of those days Where you don't want to wake up Everything is f**ked Everybody sucks You don't really know why But you want to justify Rippin' someone's head off No human contact And if you interact Your life…

I want to go home

What about our facial expression said, "Please come talk to us" today?

Memes, memes, memes

Toxic? It's our middle name

Some seriously cantankerous kitties in here

As per my last email...

Tell us Carol, WHERE IS THE SUGAR?

We are NOT amused