21-year-old boyfriend considers breaking up with girlfriend after discovering the deep connection she formed with his brother: ‘I'd rather they date each other and let me move out of their way’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jul 11, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

When you are super close with your siblings, their opinion on different elements of your life becomes really valuable to you. You want them to support your career, to love your home and enjoy hanging out there with you, and of course, to approve the person you choose to date. The latter is perhaps the most challenging one, especially since siblings can become extremely protective of each other.

I remember the first time my older sister brought a boyfriend home to meet the family. I was constantly looking for flaws or red flags, and I was not above telling him that I would ensure he would seriously regret it if he ever hurt my sister. I also remember how important it was for my sister that I and he would get along, so after I was finished with the skepticism, I was ready to make an effort to become friends with the guy.

Which leads me to the question–is it possible for a romantic partner and a sibling to become too close?

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  • If you ask the boyfriend in the comments below, he would say yes. He fully believes that his girlfriend should be with his brother, and not him, based on how they behave when they are around each other.

    Other people claimed that the boyfriend might be overreacting, so keep scrolling to read the full story, and let us know what you think in the comments below!

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    Cheezburger Image 10526975744
    via JackF

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    My girlfriend (21F) and my brother (20M) are soulmates

    My girlfriend (21F) and I (21M) have been dating for about 7 months now. We both used to work at the same restaurant, and I asked her out. I've
    via WorriedPrize5387
  • 03
    always felt like we were very different people, but that's what I liked about our relationship. I feel like I'm always learning something by
    via WorriedPrize5387
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    being around her and try my best to indulge in her interests. 3 months ago I introduced her to my family and they all seemed to like
    via WorriedPrize5387
  • 05
    her, especially my brother (20M). I didn't really think much of it, and was happy to see them get along since I'm very close to my brother. But
    via WorriedPrize5387
  • 06
    I've realised over time that they just fit way better with each other. They both have the same interests in movies, books, music, sports, foods,
    via WorriedPrize5387
  • 07
    you name it. Although my girlfriend was hesistant at first about it, I encouraged her to go for things alone with my brother if it wasn't something I
    via WorriedPrize5387
  • 08
    was really into. And they both had a great time. And I know just having the same hobbies sounds trivial, but it's also their personalities.
    via WorriedPrize5387
  • 09
    They're both very free spirited and adventurous, and I can't help but notice that they look so much happier with each other than with me.
    via WorriedPrize5387
  • 10
    Sometimes I feel really out of place around them, as if I'm not supposed to be there. But I swear this is not out of jealousy, I just genuinely think
    via WorriedPrize5387
  • 11
    they're better for each other. I love both of them, and if this is what makes them happy, then I'd rather they date each other and let me move out of
    via WorriedPrize5387
  • 12
    their way. I'm not exactly sure how to execute this or talk about this with either of them tho. How do I go about setting them up?
    via WorriedPrize5387
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10526976000
    via JackF

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    ThinkThankThonk You gotta work on your self esteem. What you'll learn eventually is that someone being attracted to you is not
    via ThinkThankThonk
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    up to you, and no one who is attracted to you is going to want to hear you try to explain why they're wrong. If you trust a partner, part of that involves trusting their
    via ThinkThankThonk
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    judgment about being with you. Oh and stop sending them on dates, that's weird.
    via ThinkThankThonk
  • 17
    mkaszycki81 Your brother shaped you as well. You apparently connect well with people like him—and like your gf.
    via mkaszycki81
  • 18
    So it's no wonder she's very much into you and possibly would be less into your brother than you think.
    via mkaszycki81
  • 19
    thecatsareouttogetus Whoa. Slow down - your GF probably has zero interest in your brother. People don't necessarily like being with someone like them. My
    via thecatsareouttogetus
  • 20
    husband is my polar opposite (thank god) and I would be absolutely miserable dating someone like me - I'm too annoying!
    via thecatsareouttogetus
  • 21
    Worldliness_Level This post is equal parts selfless and heartbreaking. I really respect your maturity and self- awareness, but I think you're being too quick to write yourself out of your own relationship.
    via Worldliness_Level
  • 22
    You say they're soulmates, but your girlfriend chose you, not him. That matters. Shared interests aren't everything. Chemistry, emotional connection, and commitment
    via Worldliness_Level
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    also play huge roles. You're viewing their bond through a lens of comparison rather than focusing on what you two have built.
    via Worldliness_Level
  • 24
    Instead of trying to "set them up," maybe have a vulnerable, honest conversation with your girlfriend. Tell her how you've been feeling and ask how she feels about your relationship.
    via Worldliness_Level
  • 25
    You might be surprised, she might be with you because you bring something her bond with your brother doesn't. And please stop facilitating their time together like that. It's blurring boundaries and
    via Worldliness_Level
  • 26
    making things messier than they need to be. If things are meant to shift, they will, without you sacrificing yourself for it.
    via Worldliness_Level
  • 27
    Ultimately, don't martyr yourself. Love should be mutual. Don't give yours away without making sure it's still being returned.
    via Worldliness_Level

Tags

boyfriend relationship advice love triangle drama brother relationship-drama soulmates reddit story relationships girlfriend advice couples love Reddit dating
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