Funniest Tweets Written By Women Last Week (December 23, 2019)

Every week, we bring you the funniest tweets written by women this week. Because there are some jokes that only women can tell... Enjoy!

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  • 01
    Text - Delia Cai @delia_cai how many miles do you think we've all scrolled this year 11:10 pm · 17 Dec 2019 · Twitter Web App 18.8K Likes 2.7K Retweets
    via Delia Cai
  • 02
    via nafisalsm
  • 03
    Text - dunja x walls @FALLINGLWT I PUT MAKE UP ON AND MY STEPDAD SAID ITS TOO MUCH SO MY MOM AND I WENT TO THE BATHROOM CAUSE SHE SAID SHE WILL FIX IT AND THEN SHE SAID "I'm not gonna change anything let's see if he notices"SO I GOT BACK WITH THE SAME AMOUNT OF MAKEUP AND ASKED "better?" AND HE SAID "way better" 5:48 pm · 13 Dec 2019 · Twitter for iPhone 57.3K Retweets 475.3K Likes
    via dunja x walls
  • 04
    via TTPrettyInPink
  • 05
    Text - @_forevershi UPS will ring your doorbell and be back in the truck before the bell even finish ringing 11:47 pm · 11 Dec 2019 · Twitter for iPhone 128.4K Likes 28.9K Retweets
    via @_forevershi
  • 06
    via /Iennys
  • 07
    Text - Erin War on Christmas Ryan @morninggloria Hear me out: Peloton girl should be the next Bachelorette 8:41 pm · 13 Dec 2019 · Twitter for iPhone 15K Likes 819 Retweets
    via @morninggloria
  • 08
    via islawhat
  • 09
    Text - A Christmas Pjörk Nicole @NicoleConlan I hope when I die they bury me alongside all my open Chrome tabs, like Tutankhamun among his treasures 10:24 pm · 19 Dec 2019 · Twitter Web App 3.7K Likes 777 Retweets
    via A Christmas Pjörk
  • 10
    via rachelpegram
  • 11
    Text - Shelley Farmer @ShelleyBFarmer Adam Driver is like if you moved Baumbach from 11 to 18 font Samantha Wittwer @samanthawittwer. 19 Dec are these the safdie brothers
    via Sheeley farmer
  • 12
    via /jennysboyds
  • 13
    via /joytheestallion
  • 14
    Text - minty @GHIACCIO oh you're rich? name every number on your credit card. 6:51 pm · 8 Dec 2019 · Twitter for iPhone 27K Retweets 78.6K Likes
    via @GHIACCIO
  • 15
    Text - brittany spanos @ohheybrittany a kid yelled "showtime!" on the F train and then started dancing to "fix you" by coldplay 4:00 am · 11 Dec 2019 · Twitter for iPhone 33.3K Likes 2.4K Retweets
    via @ohheybrittany
  • 16
    via aalexandriabish
  • 17
    Text - Brandy Jensen @BrandyLJensen love when crime shows get to season 12 or 18 and they've already caught every type of deranged killer so now they have to find like, The Mixologist, a cannibal who turns his victims into craft cocktails 1:40 am · 11 Dec 2019 from Brooklyn, NY · Twitter for iPhone 559 Retweets 6.2K Likes
    via @BrandyLJensen
  • 18
    Text - @lovelyAna anxiety: aren't you like.worried? me: about what? anxiety: i don't know me: oh my god you're right, thanks for reminding me 10:45 pm · 15 Dec 2019 · Twitter for iPhone 258.1K Likes 79.3K Retweets
    via @lovelyAna
  • 19
    Face - Anne T. Donahue @annetdonahue when i'm having a great time at dinner but remember the weird way i pronounced "bolognese" when ordering Go
    via Anne T. Donahue
  • 20
    Text - winter jerk @rajandelman Me, drawing little x's and o's on a football field, indicating where I think players should hug and kiss 7:17 am · 17 Dec 2019 · Twitter Web App 7.2K Retweets 54.9K Likes
    via @rajandelman
  • 21
    Text - cut it out @lonthecelebrity A lot of people don't know about politics cause history teachers be football coaches. 4:18 am · 19 Dec 2019 · Twitter for iPhone 44.2K Retweets 228K Likes
    via @lonthecelebrity
  • 22
    Text - Aparna Nancherla @aparnapkin It turns out one of the most upsetting texts to get is just your first name followed by no punctuation or context 1:33 am · 16 Dec 2019 · Twitter for iPhone 4.2K Likes 294 Retweets
    via @aparnapkin
  • 23
    Text - madison @itsmadimay THIS LITTLE GIRL I'M BABYSITTING JUST ASKED ME IF I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND I SAID NOT ANYMORE AND SHE SAID "BOYFRIENDS ARE A WASTE OF TIME" AND THEN SHE TURNS TO HER BROTHER AND TELLS HIM "YOU'RE GONNA BE A WASTE OF TIME" 5:42 am · 15 Dec 2019 · Twitter for iPhone 856.3K Likes 151K Retweets
    via @itsmadimay
  • 24
    Text - khaLEEsi @Lee_Carrie Can't stand a Chipotle worker who gotta scream "extra chicken" down the line. How does it feel being the feds? 10:24 pm · 9 Dec 2019 · Twitter for iPhone 21.8K Retweets 121.6K Likes
    via @Lee_Carrie
  • 25
    Text - Gabbi Boyd @GabbiBoyd By the time you're 25 you should have: -??? -?????? -??????????? -a haunting story about taking edibles 8:15 pm · 13 Dec 2019 · Twitter for iPhone 154K Likes 29K Retweets
    via @GabbiBoyd

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