#GetInfluenced: Coronavirus Quarantine Edition

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  Good morning followers. It hasn't been long since my last post, but I wanted to check in with you and make sure you are all surviving in this crazy time. As for me... well, I have one question for you.

  WHAT. THE. F*CK. IS. GOING. ON?!

  I honestly don't know what to make of all this Coronavirus madness. I mean one minute I'm looking forward to my relaxing and self-indulgent yoga retreat in Bali, and the next minute I'm stuck inside my apartment, semi-quarantined with my family because of a deathly pandemic that is sweeping the globe. I mean can you even? Honestly, COVID-19 could not have come at a worse time for me. Unbelievable.

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  I've come to accept the fact that I won't get the vacation I deserve and that I was so looking forward to. Bali will be there when all this corona madness ends (I hope), but the swimwear I purchased will be so last season. It blows. But honestly, what infuriates me the most is that my nanny has quit AGAIN. At this point, I don't even know what to do with myself. This is the second time a nanny has left me in the past three months and at this point, I don't even know what to do with myself. All I can assume is that I must have done something really bad in a past life to deserve this sort of karma. She said she wants to be home with her kids during this difficult time, but I told her she was being selfish because she has no consideration for me and my kids during this difficult time. Whatever.

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  I really thought I wouldn't have to go into quarantine because we live on the 30th floor of a high-rise, towering above NY city and isolated from the masses below. I tried telling my husband to work from home but he insisted that he had really important stuff that could only be from the office that I wouldn't understand. But then two days ago he came home complaining of flu-like symptoms. I called a doctor to come over right away and even though he tested negative for COVID-19, I'm still skeptical and I'm isolating us all anyway. I think the testing kits are off.

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  Truthfully (between you and me), the reason I'm quarantining us all is that I think my husband is having an affair with his secretary and this might be the golden ticket I've been looking for to ensure that he can't see her. But I don't want him to know any of that, so I'll just tell him that my anxiety would be a lot better if we all quarantined regardless. He doesn't usually indulge my fake anxieties but I'm hoping he'll be a little more understanding in the wake of a global health crisis. My next task is to sabotage their facetime "meetings". Watch this space.

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  Anyway, so here we are; me, my two kids and my husband, all quarantined together and somehow we have to get through it. I thought I would give you live updates from what's going on in my Upper East Side apartment, and hopefully, I can inspire you (as I always do) to survive Coronageddon.

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  Before declaring a lockdown on our family, I decided to go shopping yesterday one last time. I went to Macy's because I can't live without my Himalayan rosewater and driftwood vanilla candles and I'm low on stock. Who knows how long I won't be able to go out again for (although because I'm not officially quarantined, I might sneak out when my husband is sleeping... who knows). But when I got there, they had almost sold out. I guess everyone else knows the powers of candles for relaxing at a time like this.

  @Yakeecandle feel free to reach out with some free candles so I can quarantine in luxury.

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  Anyway, I popped into Starbucks before Macy's, and as I was strolling through the candle section, I choked on my iced macchiato because I was so distracted by a woman's beautiful coat. I started coughing and boy, was that a mistake. At least ten people turned around to look at me, I felt like I was on The Voice. But not in a good way. So my first piece of advice would be to not cough in public; people won't react well to it.

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  Day #1 of quarantine started today and to be honest, I'm already over it. The day started like any other day in our house: we woke up, practiced half an hour of meditation and then spent some time writing in our gratitude journals. After breakfast (kale smoothies), it was time for the kids to start their online classes. Even though they are only 5 and 7-years-old, thankfully, their school is running video classes. I'm super grateful for this because there is no way I could homeschool. There's a reason I didn't become a teacher. I am many things; an influencer? Yes. A leader? Yes. A great mom? Also yes. But a teacher? No, most definitely not.

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  While the kids were having their online classes, I decided to Facebook stalk my husband's secretary. Honestly, she seems the type to have coronavirus and not tell anyone. The bitch. But then I reminded myself that I am an influencer, I have thousands of followers and I am #blessed. I may not have a faithful husband, but hopefully, the quarantine will sort that out. I'm choosing to see COVID-19 as a blessing. Who's with me?

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  Since I no longer have a maid (she is also refusing to work at the moment - unacceptable), I had to do the vacuuming myself. Having never vacuumed before today in my life, I wasn't quite as gentle as I should have been with it and I broke the handle off by mistake. Thankfully, my 5-year-old has repurposed it as a toy phone, so it's all good. I'll order a new vacuum on Amazon Prime.

  
  

  @dyson feel free to reach out with a free vacuum so I can make quarantine cleaner for me and my family.

   

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  Anyway, after that, I decided enough was enough and I took a nap. I woke up three hours later totally disoriented and heard my husband blowing kissing at his laptop from his study. When I asked him who he was video calling and he told me it didn't concern me. I will look into it tomorrow. The kids watched TV for the rest of the day and I'm about to go and take a long bath. Quarantine might be harder than I thought.

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  I think I need to come up with a more strategic plan to get my family through the next however long. I will be back with more updates on my quarantine journey soon, but in the meantime, I hope everyone stays safe. Let me know what you want to see specifically in my next blog and how I can help you with your quarantine experience. See you next time, Kelly xoxo

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