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Doctors' Best "Asking For A Friend" Stories

Someone on AskReddit asked for doctors to share their best stories of people coming in, and seeking them out to ask for professional medical advice for their "friends." Folks have a funny blindness they apply toward not knowing how obvious it is that they're asking advice for themselves, from doctors. At least the doctors seem to take it in stride, and exercise an understanding of the process. 

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  • 1
    Text - designgoddess • 5h I asked my doctor about AA for a friend of mine. Really. Years later the doctor still asks me how I'm doing with my sobriety. I've stopped trying to convince him I really was asking for a friend.
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  • 2
    Text - SiberianDoctor • 8h One girl was interested in laxatives "for a friend." She try to learn everything about the dose, where what to buy, how to drink. She was brought in a week later with complete intestinal atony. She tried to lose weight so much and drank two or three tablets at a time.
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  • 3
    Text - emergencyDAD • 12h 1 Award ER doc. Had a guy who just got out of jail a few days earlier came in with his GF who had signed in for an STD check. Walk in to meet them and he says casually "Is it possible to get gonorrhea in your throat?" At that moment I knew he had gonorrhea in his throat.
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  • 4
    Text - sneakernomics • 10h Do you sleep with hot male patients. Asking for a friend
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  • 5
    Text - Freyja_the_derpyderp · 9h My father is a doctor and he got a call once in the middle of the night from his call share doctors patient . The man asked what to do about a bump on his "friends" arm that he scratched and something came out. He mentioned it was leaking a little oil now. It was a zit. He scratched a pimple. Woke the whole family up at 3 am because he had to page my dad over a zit.
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  • 6
    Text - zenmasterzain • 7h another family medicine Dọc called an ER doc yesterday on the cell phone asking what to do when you get soap in your eyes. Choose wisely folks.
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  • 7
    Text - gingeRxs • 7h "Yes hi this is Dr. X, I need to call in a prescription for hydroxychloroquine. Do you have any in stock? Uh, asking for a friend."
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  • 8
    Text - Gavooki • 9h Divorced women / cougars like to explain muscle strains as sex injuries to get a rise out of docs. Best way to deal is to stay monotone and not react, "patient describes proximal adductor muscle pain in hip flexion during recreational activity ... rated 7/10... Pain is now present during ambulation..." If you don't react, they move along. Doesn't take long in the office to have seen and/or heard everything. I'm not interested that you are recently divorced, started working ou
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  • 9
    Text - heeheeimherenow • 13h Lady walks in and goes "so if you cheated and got pregnant, but then had sex with your husband would the baby become his?" it took everything in me not to laugh
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  • 10
    Text - robertjames70001 • 1h I asked in a pharmacy if the hair lice shampoo Was suitable for pubic lice !
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  • 11
    Text - crimsundevil • 7h Not mine but one of the older pharmacists i work with went out to help this 20ish girl with some med questions. She then asked him about condoms and said, "if you were to do me, what condom would you use?" Yeah...he just walked away
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  • 12
    Text - thatswhylleft • 11h "There is one dream where in my dream, I'm Spider-Man. But l'm losing my powers. I'm climbing a wall but I keep falling. In my dream... Actually, it's not even my dream, it's a friend of mine's dream."
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