Disturbing Ways The Ninja Turtles Have Cowabunga'd Into Real Life

You know the Ninja Turtles, right? Those sneaker-snapping, belt-biting boys – with real breakdancin' action! Who fight crime with karate, often with weapons – one time with sausages – but always with pure, uncut 80's surfer 'tude coursing through their surprisingly pronounced veins. Okay but did you know about the crass joke they made on Oprah? Well, if not, you're in luck. This... is Canonball.