I Can Has Cheezburger? Newsletter

What If Dogs Were Doctors: Funny Conversions With Dr. Dog At The Clinic

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    Text - Pinned Tweet Dr Dog @DrDogMD DR DOG: would u be willing to donate ur organs PATIENT: ya DD: and ur bones? P: my bones? Why? DD (mouth watering): just answer the question 7:10 AM · Feb 12, 2016 · Twitter for iPhone 1.2K Retweets 2.2K Likes >

    If you think about it, dogs would make fantastic doctors. They can deliver bad news and be able to comfort you there on the spot. Who wouldn't want to be comforted by a dog? And you just know you'd be able to trust them. Dogs are one of the most trustworthy animals out there. 

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    Text - Dr Dog @DrDogMD DR DOG (listening to patient's heartbeat): Just as I suspected.Your squeaky is broken 12:07 AM · Mar 31, 2018 · Twitter for iPhone 54 Retweets 198 Likes >
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    Text - Dr Dog @DrDogMD PATIENT (becoming increasingly annoyed): is this gonna take much longer DR DOG (fumbling around with a pen while trying to write a prescription): you know what.why don't you try doing this with no thumbs 11:41 PM · Apr 17, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 8 Retweets 35 Likes >
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    Text - Dr Dog @DrDogMD DR DOG (looking over patient's chart): there's no good way to tell you this PATIENT: I'm dying?! DR DOG: haha no...i pooped in your shoe when you weren't looking 2:14 PM · Apr 15, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone >
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    Text - Dr Dog @DrDogMD DR DOG: We need to talk about your weight. PATIENT: I'm not fat. I'm just big boned. DR DOG: *drooling everywhere* Just how big exactly? 12:46 AM · Apr 17, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 20 Retweets 104 Likes >
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    Text - Dr Dog @DrDogMD [medical school] TEACHER: you lost your homework? CLASSMATE: it was just right here I swear DR DOG (satisfyingly rubbing his belly): haha that's so weird 4:49 PM · Apr 11, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 12 Retweets 81 Likes >
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    Text - Dr Dog @DrDogMD DR DOG: need anything from the cafeteria? NURSE: yeah could you...FETCH me a cup of coffee? DR DOG: *tail just goes freakin' nuts* 3:40 AM · Apr 13, 2018 · Twitter for iPhone 50 Retweets 230 Likes >
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    Text - Dr Dog @DrDogMD DR DOG: *removes cast from patient's leg* PATIENT: am I good to walk on it now? DR DOG (leash already in his mouth): you better believe it 10:37 PM · Feb 15, 2017 · Twitter for iPhone 184 Retweets 412 Likes >
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    Text - Dr Dog @DrDogMD TV REPORTER: what drives you to heal people? To save lives? DR DOG (puts mouth directly on mic): i guess it's bc l'm a good boy. Yes I am. 11:52 PM · Feb 19, 2017 · Twitter for iPhone 181 Retweets 388 Likes
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    Text - Dr Dog @DrDogMD DR DOG (looking over student loan statement): Holy crap. I'll be paying these back til I'm.. *doing maths on his paws* .140!?!? 6:44 PM · Apr 21, 2018 · Twitter for iPhone 27 Retweets 144 Likes >
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    Text - Dr Dog @DrDogMD DR DOG: Let's test your recovery from elbow surgery *hands him tennis ball* PATIENT: What do I do DR DOG: *tail wagging like crazy* Throw it 4:39 AM · May 31, 2017 · Twitter for iPhone 116 Retweets 286 Likes >
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    Text - Dr Dog @DrDogMD PATIENT: My feet are killing me DR DOG: Take your shoes off & I'll take a look PATIENT: Ok DR DOG: *puts shoes in mouth & walks out* These are mine now 10:27 PM · Mar 25, 2018 · Twitter for iPhone 111 Retweets 435 Likes >
  • 13
    Text - Dr Dog @DrDogMD PATIENT: I think I sprained my elbow trying to pet my dog DR DOG (tail starts wagging like crazy): show me exactly how it happened 11:44 PM · Mar 27, 2018 · Twitter for iPhone 76 Retweets 248 Likes >
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  • 14
    Text - Dr Dog @DrDogMD DR DOG: I'm sorry. there's nothing more I can do PATIENT: you can go to hell! DR DOG (rolls up sleeve revealing 'All Dogs Go To Heaven' tattoo): buddy I couldn't even if I wanted to 8:45 PM · Mar 26, 2018 · Twitter for iPhone 138 Retweets 538 Likes
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    Text - Dr Dog @DrDogMD PATIENT: I bet medical school was pretty tough DR DOG: yeah I remember one time I did an assignment 4 times bc I ate the first 3 copies lol 8:31 PM · May 25, 2017 · Twitter for iPhone 174 Retweets 501 Likes >
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    Text - Dr Dog @DrDogMD PATIENT (in waiting room): my appointment was 45 minutes ago. what could be taking so long? DR DOG (at the other side of the hospital): *angrily growling at the cat scan machine* 2:35 AM · Apr 4, 2018 · Twitter for iPhone 50 Retweets 204 Likes
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    Text - Dr Dog @DrDogMD REPORTER: any advice you'd give to people during these trying times? DR DOG: Stay the heck at home! Except cats..they can go to hell 2:02 AM · Apr 21, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 11 Retweets 28 Likes >

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