Let's face it, we've all told one or two white lies on a date to make ourselves seem a little more impressive than we really are. But there's a big difference between a white lie and a straight-up gigantic untruth. That, if I'm not mistaken, is called compulsive lying. Not cool guys, not cool.
Together with The Single Society, we bring you this latest online dating horror story about a compulsive liar from Connecticut who was nothing like he appeared on Tinder...
My worst tinder date ever was quite a doozy.
After spending three months quarantined in my tiny one-bedroom apartment alone with my cats the city gave the green light for outdoor dining and I decided what better time than ever to jump back into the (socially distanced) dating game?
I downloaded Tinder (for the fifth time) and was ready to seize the day.
David loved travelling and seemed super smart and accomplished.
I matched with David.
While chatting via text, David mentioned that he owns a home in Connecticut, and has a place in the city. David also said he was an avid traveler who was always up for an exotic adventure.
What intrigued me the most was that he said he started his own hedge fund.
Or so it seemed.
Being that I am also a business owner who makes it very clear that I am looking for someone who can share my passion for traveling the world, I thought this may be quite the match.
Wrong. So wrong.
Once we met up, one thing became very clear...
David and I ended up meeting at a charming little Italian establishment to get better acquainted in person later that week.
As we sat down for drinks, I asked David to tell me about the exotic travels he mentioned while chatting via text and what is next on his bucket list when the pandemic is finally over.
That I was wrong about him. So wrong.
He began to go into detail about these 'worldly' adventures…
And South Dakota.
In his minivan.
He had zero desire to travel outside the country...
He also informed me that he has never even left the country, and has ZERO desire to so.
Here I am looking for a partner to join me on future trips to Cambodia or Amsterdam, and this asshole is trying to tell me how much fun it is to sleep in the back of a Town & Country and shower with baby wipes.
Turns out we had different ideas of what constitutes 'travelling'.
No thanks, bruh.
"So…I thought you said you loved seeing other countries. We had like, a ten-minute text exchange about how it is our favorite thing to do," I reminded him.
"Oh, well I feel like traveling is traveling. I don't need to leave the country to do it. I think it's a waste of money," David explained, drastically changing his tune from the conversation we had prior.
He also lived between his brother and his parents...
After explaining to me how he has debilitating ADHD and has dated several women who went to rehab for alcohol abuse, mister 'I-have-a-house-in-Connecticut-and-a-place-in-the-city' proceeded to tell me that he lives with his brother and his family in Connecticut and doesn't have to pay rent so long as he watches the kids when need be.
And, he was actually an Uber driver.
Oh yeah, and 'his' place in the city actually belongs to his parents, but he can crash on the couch whenever he wants. As for the 'hedge fund,' he said it was a bit of a 'work in progress,' but for now, he was using his minivan to be an Uber driver in Connecticut.
Needless to say, this wasn't a match and my worst Tinder date ever and I am going back into quarantine.
It was a no from me. Here's how well he took it.
About the AuthorTheSingleSocietyNikki is currently living in NYC with her husband (who she met on Bumble after experiencing the absurdity of online dating) and working in digital marketing. She clearly enjoys recording the ridiculous debauchery that is the modern dating scene. Nikki is also partial to a tall glass of Prosecco, her black/calico kitties, 90s music and playoff hockey. Drop her a line if you have a good story for her to write about.