Embarassing Instances Of Absentminded Stupidity

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Meeeeesh
Nov 16, 2021 7:00 PM EST

Someone on /r/AskReddit asked people to tell their most embarrassing instances of stupidity and absent-mindedness, and boy did the people deliver. Lucky for you, we've gathered some of those stories below! Check out Fail Blog for tons more fails!

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  • 01
    Text - r/AskReddit u/blackwatchdoctor • 2y What is the dumbest thing you've ever done for absolutely no reason?
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  • 02
    Text - Sooperwhooper • 2y 2 Awards We were driving to a restaurant and wanted to see how long the wait was. My dad handed me the phone book and asked me to look up the number. I, for whatever reason, thought he said "get rid of this". So I opened the window and chucked the phone book while we were going 70 MPH down the highway. That was over ten years ago, I still get shit for it. 43.5k
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  • 03
    Text - issathrowaway12 • 2y Your unwavering and unquestioning obedience is admirable 19.9k
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  • 04
    Text - spaghatta111 • 2y 1 Award One time I was eating a lemon poppyseed muffin. The phone rang, so I reacted by shoving the entire muffin my mouth and eating it as fast as I could, nearly choking to death, and I didn't even make it to the phone before it stopped ringing. Why did I do that? Edit: someone spent real money on me because I ate a muffin. I feel so.. dirty... 33.5k
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  • 05
    Text - justtosubscribe • 2y 1 Award Someone asked me what time it was and I lifted and rotated my wrist so I could look at my watch. I was holding an iced tea and just poured the whole thing into my lap. I wasn't wearing a watch. I didn't even own a watch. Never have. 29.0k
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  • 06
    Text - -fakebirds- • 2y 1 Award My dad was sleeping on the couch and I happened to be holding an avocado. Without giving it a second thought, I chucked the avocado at his head for no reason. It plonked right off his forehead, woke him up of course, and he was so furious he couldn't look at me for the rest of the day I was like 11 years old, and my dad has a temper. The moment it left my hand I knew my life was ending so I just helplessly watched it sail into his sleeping face Edit: chunked to ch
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  • 07
    Text - winsomelosemore • 2y 1 Award Maybe not the dumbest but a recent one on my mind. I was in my office with the door closed. Got up from my desk to walk out and knocked on the door before opening it and walking into the hallway. 23.3k
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  • 08
    Text - haccthaplanet • 2y Sometimes I blow on my ice cream before I take a bite. Have no idea why. 22.5k
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  • 09
    Text - junkhacker • 2y 1 Award here's what i suspect was going on brain: food, is very temperature! also brain: no worry, learned from soup, know what do 27.7k
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  • 10
    Text - carrotsandbread • 2y As a kid, my parents would tell me to go brush my teeth, and being the stupid kid that I was, I would go to the bathroom and lock the door, leave the water running, wet my toothbrush and rinsed my mouth to make it look like I brushed my teeth, along with squeezing tiny blobs of toothpaste to make it look used, and would rub the toothbrush across my arm to make the brushing noises, while eating mints to make my breath seem legit. All in all, this process took more time
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  • 11
    Text - BeaversBumhole • 2y Same here. 25 years & $7000 later, I've had my teeth surgically removed & waiting for the swelling to go down to get fitted for dentures. Brush your teeth kids. The dentist is expensive. 4.4k
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  • 12
    Text - samanthalynn-s • 2y 1 Award Went to a coffee shop and ordered a large cup of coffee. Barista hands it to me and I put it into my purse with no lid. 17.1k
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  • 13
    Text - NothingGoodLasts • 2y idk why but that reminds me of the time I saw a customer at this pizza shop I work at turn his pizza box sideways and tuck it under his arm on his way out..what a mess 6.7k
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  • 14
    Text - MissyDeanna • 2y I'm 34 years old and my Dad still tells the following story of me doing a dumb thing to anyone willing to listen. When I was 8 years old I got a pack of Big League Chew gum. I was hanging out in the garage with my Dad & when he saw I was about to open the gum he said, "Now whatever you do, do not put this in your eye." I said ok, I won't. I then walked into the house, went upstairs into my bathroom, chewed on a ton of gum, took it out of my mouth and put it on my eye. The
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  • 15
    Font - LionPandaTiger 2y What'd your dad expect to happen after he practically dared you to do it?
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