Quality Twitter Gems From Ryan Reynolds

Author image for Ada Elder
Ada Elder
Sep 24, 2020 11:00 AM EDT

At this point we're convinced that everything Ryan Reynolds touches is gold. His movies (especially Deadpool), Instagram posts and even his gin advertisements are absolutely brilliant. But nothing quite compares to the hilarity of the Vancouver native's Twitter account. It's sarcastic. It's clever. And we could read through it all day. We've put together some examples of his best "work," but we implore you to enjoy more on his profile. We're willing to bet it's a bit more fun than whatever you're doing.

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  • 01
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds People in LA are deathly afraid of gluten. I swear to god, you could rob a liquor store in this city with a bagel. 6:27 PM - 7Jan 2017 6 17 84,322 V 333,306
    via Nicidimus
  • 02
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds I love Words With Friends. Because once you start playing, the next time you look up, another Olympics has come and gone. 7:35 PM - 10 Mar 2015 6 17 236 V 1,157
    via Nicidimus
  • 03
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds Curiously, the best thing about a #Deadpool photoshoot, is singing Dolly Parton songs full blast while heavily, HEAVILY armed. Unexpected. 5:12 AM 14 Mar 2015 6 17 2,396 V 4,180
    via Nicidimus
  • 04
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds When I think out loud, it sounds nothing like Morgan Freeman. 6:07 AM - 18 Jun 2015 6 17 2,864 6,258
    via Nicidimus
  • 05
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds Ever notice halfway through a shower, that you're not in the shower at all? Just crying super hard? #HappyCanadaDay 1:23 AM - 2 Jul 2015 6 17 2,496 V 7,275
    via Nicidimus
  • 06
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds Love it when mom tells an anecdote about last night's dinner, but starts with her own birth and works her way forward in real time. 1:34 PM - 9 Jul 2015 6 17 1,307 V 5,578
    via Nicidimus
  • 07
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds Next time you're grocery shopping, imagine David Attenborough narrating. It really next-levels the whole thing. 5:59 PM - 21 Jul 2015 6 17 2,144 V 5,004
    via Nicidimus
  • 08
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds When a driver's engulfed in road rage, saying they're going to shank you with a broken bottle of schnapps, just get out of my mom's way. 1:06 PM - 6 Aug 2015 6 17 1,793 V 7,130
    via Nicidimus
  • 09
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds Nothing better than spending an entire morning staring into my baby daughter's eyes, whispering, "I can't do this". 2:24 PM - 26 Aug 2015 6 17 7,509 V 21,731
    via Nicidimus
  • 10
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds Call me old fashioned, but sending a dick pic is disgusting and lazy. Real love means sending a nice bouquet of penises. 8:38 PM - 29 Aug 2015 6 t7 19,549 V 32,549
    via Nicidimus
  • 11
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds My infant daughter's traumatized for life. 50 Shades of Grey Worst coloring book ever. = 2:25 PM 17 Jul 2016 6 17 32,961 V 111,400
    via Nicidimus
  • 12
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds My neighbors' safe-word is, Hufflepuff. I only know this because I happened to jog past their bedroom window for an hour. 4:01 PM - 1 Aug 2016 6 17 14,144 V 64,611
    via Nicidimus
  • 13
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds Crime sprees would be so much funnier if your get- a-way vehicle was Hodor from Game of Thrones. 1:20 PM - 7 Aug 2016 6 17 9,352 v 32,783
    via Nicidimus
  • 14
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds No matter which kids book I read to my screaming baby on an airplane, the moral of the story is always something about a vasectomy. 2:07 PM - 7 Aug 2016 6 17 24,732 V 111,343
    via Nicidimus
  • 15
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds Tough call. Continue watching election coverage or tickle fight with a starving adult lion. 6:31 AM - 10 Aug 2016 6 17 13,550 V 51,047
    via Nicidimus
  • 16
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds Damn it's hard letting your infant daughter go somewhere alone for the first time. I was a total mess dropping her off at Burning Man. 3:21 PM - 7 Sep 2016 6 17 22,089 V 108,843
    via Nicidimus
  • 17
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds I'm making an oil painting of my sister, Sarah. And it's more difficult than I thought because I don't have a sister. 2:30 PM - 11 Sep 2016 6 t7 20,699 v 88,616
    via Nicidimus
  • 18
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds I sometimes confuse watching political coverage with swan-diving into a swimming pool filled with liquid rabies. 12:22 PM - 7 Oct 2016 6 17 13,915 V 49,124
    via Nicidimus
  • 19
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds On our 6am walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it's in heaven, visiting daddy's freedom. 6:54 PM - 16 Oct 2016 6 17 26,981 V 126,638
    via Nicidimus
  • 20
    Text - Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds Follow I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair. 8:33 PM - 11 Sep 2015 17 25,436 45,142
    via Nicidimus
  • 21
    Text - Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds y Follow I'm teaching my daughter that the sun goes down each night because it's mad at her. Probably gonna write a book on parenting at some point. 5:16 AM - 5 Jun 2015 17 5,533 12,083
    via Nicidimus
  • 22
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her. 11:21 AM - 30 Jan 2017 111,014 Retweets 448,156 Likes 1.8K 27 111K 448K
    via Nicidimus

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twitter parenting twitter memes ryan reynolds funny tweets parenting tweets funny
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