CheezCake

Satan's Instagram Is Full Of Funny As Hell One-Liners

  • 1
    Text - Satan @s8n I keep getting christmas lists from dyslexic kids
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  • 2
    Text - Satan @s8n Going to church doesn't make you a good person, just like sacrificing your friends to Satan doesn't make you a bad person.
  • 3
    Font - Satan @s8n At least I let you masturbate
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    Text - Satan @s8n Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I'm not running a fucking petting zoo down here.
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  • 5
    Text - Satan @s8n When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in people's eyes
  • 6
    Text - Satan @s8n Suicide is never the answer, you got a long life of sinning left to do.
  • 7
    Text - Satan @s8n I put the 'sin' in 'single'
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  • 8
    Text - Satan @s8n God :I love everyone equally Me : what if they don't believe in you? God : THEY'LL END UP IN HELL WHERE THEY WILL SUFFER FOR ETERNITY
  • 9
    Text - Satan @s8n Mary : I'm pregnant Joseph : we haven't even had sex? Mary : uhh yeah it's Gods baby, it's a miracle.
  • 10
    Text - Satan @s8n If having tattoos means you go to Hell, then that means Hell is full of hot people with tattoos. So where do you really want to end up for eternity?
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  • 11
    Text - Satan @s8n My favourite part of the Bible is when God called me the bad guy then kills all those people.
  • 12
    Text - Satan @s8n God watches you have sex
  • 13
    Text - Satan @s8n Instead of saying 'not today, Satan' how about you tell me when? smhl have a busy schedule.
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  • 14
    Text - Satan @s8n If you're having a rough time right now, things will get better. Then you'll eventually die and end up in hell.
  • 15
    Text - Satan @s8n It's a lot harder to torture people nowadays since everyone actually enjoys being tied up and gagged.

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