CheezCake

Dating Nightmares: Horrific Halloween Walk of Shame Stories

  • The Awkward Uber Journey Home

    Lip - #YOUNGERTV THERE GOES MY 5 STAR RATING

    I went home with this guy after a Halloween party. I woke up and put my slutty schoolgirl outfit back on. I had mascara smeared all over my face and my pigtails had seen better days. I was trying to sneak out without being seen by any of his roommates seeing me so I ordered an Uber and thankfully the uber seemed to be right by their apartment complex so I ran out to meet him. Then one of the roommates came down and got in his car. Turns out, he was my f*cking Uber driver. We didn't know each other and I just got in the backseat and sat there awkwardly while he drove me 30 minutes back to my place.

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  • The Park Bench Pineapple

    Hair - BSEGIFS

    After some post-Halloween party fun with this guy I was hooking up with, I was completely hungover and miserable. I was dressed as a pineapple and was headed back to my car desperate to get home. There just so happened to be a kids' Halloween parade on the street where my car was parked and all the roads were blocked off. I asked a police officer if he could remove the barricade so I could leave but he said I had to wait. So I wanted there on a park bench, hungover as hell, for three f*cking hours, dressed as a pineapple with fishnet stockings while hundreds of kids frolicked down the street.

  • The Sephora Stopover

    Leg

    I ended up crashing with a guy after a Halloween party and was dressed as a pirate wench. I was all the way across town and my best friend had her 30th birthday brunch that morning and there was NO way I was going to make it if I went home to change. I made a pit stop in Sephora to touch up my make up then I rolled into brunch still fully dressed as a pirate.

  • The Slutty Walk Of Shame

    People - SHAME. SHAME. SHAME.

    I went to a big school down south where everyone dressed to the nines for football games. After a Halloween party, I hooked up with some random dude and had to walk back through campus to my dorm room in a slutty tiger costume in 6-inch stilettos. It didn't help that everyone I passed were all prim and proper sorority girls donning pearls, sundresses, and big hats. Some of the girls in my sorority spotted me and I ended up being completely slut-shamed. I dropped out after that.

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  • The Subway Ride Of Shame

    Joker - HI...

    I went home with a girl one Halloween and woke up with nothing to wear but my costume which was the king from Burger King. I couldn't exactly afford a cab at that point in my life so I got on the subway with everyone wearing their suits and ties….and I was Burger King. When I got off the train I just so happened to run into my ex-girlfriend. It was awkward.

  • The Penis Debacle

    Cheezburger Image 9563685376

    I crashed at a sorority house where I went to school in southern Florida. It was pretty hot that weekend so I only wore a pair of underwear under my costume. I didn't think it would be an issue because I would be going home. I had to walk back to my house still dressed as a giant penis.

  • The Puke Parade

    Cartoon - #Laff

    I was dressed as a gorilla with not much underneath because it was really hot in there. I got hammered and crashed at a girlfriends house. I woke up with dried vomit crusted into the fur of my gorilla costume. Since my ride went home with someone else I had to take a city bus home…as a puke encrusted gorilla.

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  • The Prison Party

    Facial expression - NRAW TAM NOT GOING TO JÂIL!

    I drank entirely too much on Halloween and ended up getting arrested. I spent 14 hours in a holding cell dressed as Little Bo Peep. Complete with the poofy skirty, lacy thigh-high socks, and a curly wig. My mom picked me up after I finally got arraigned the following day. It wasn't pretty.

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About the Author

Nikki is currently living in NYC with her husband (who she met on Bumble after experiencing the absurdity of online dating) and working in digital marketing. She clearly enjoys recording the ridiculous debauchery that is the modern dating scene. Nikki is also partial to a tall glass of Prosecco, her black/calico kitties, 90s music and playoff hockey. Drop her a line if you have a good story for her to write about.

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About the Author

Nikki is currently living in NYC with her husband (who she met on Bumble after experiencing the absurdity of online dating) and working in digital marketing. She clearly enjoys recording the ridiculous debauchery that is the modern dating scene. Nikki is also partial to a tall glass of Prosecco, her black/calico kitties, 90s music and playoff hockey. Drop her a line if you have a good story for her to write about.