Alton Brown Unleashes Weird Food-Themed Twitter Storm

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
Nov 3, 2020 1:00 PM EST

It's a stressful time, and respected food celebrity Alton Brown took to Twitter to vent his frustrations in the form of all caps food nonsense and references to binge drinking. It's unclear if he's trying to parody contemporary food network shows or if he just got boozed up and started typing, but it's at least fun.

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  • 01
    Text - Alton Brown 00 @altonbrown No matter what happens tomorrow, we'll still have tiny chocolate doughnuts. 4:49 PM · Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter for iPhone 862 Retweets 188 Quote Tweets 8.5K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 02
    Text - Alton Brown @altonbrown 000 I'm seriously thinking about @LittleDebbie #NuttyBars and cigarettes. Honestly, like at the same time. 5:59 PM · Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 360 Retweets 143 Quote Tweets 4.3K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 03
    Text - Alton Brown @altonbrown 000 So many Food Network people are like "oh, I'm going to braise short ribs in elderberry jam." Screw that, I'm going to mainline moon pies and snort cheese powder! 6:04 PM · Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 2K Retweets 683 Quote Tweets 15.1K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 04
    Text - Alton Brown 000 @altonbrown I'M TALKING ABOUT PIPING SPAGHETTIOS INTO STALE TWINKIES AND EATING THEM NAKED IN THE SHOWER WITH A BOTTLE OF JAEGER 6:08 PM - Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 3.6K Retweets 2.1K Quote Tweets 20K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 05
    Text - Alton Brown @altonbrown 000 I HAVE 17 CANS OF DUNCAN HINES FROSTING AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM. BACK THE HELL OFF! 6:12 PM · Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 1K Retweets 241 Quote Tweets 7.5K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 06
    Text - Alton Brown 000 @altonbrown YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHAT CRAZY LOOKS LIKE? I'VE GOT MARSHMALLOW FLUFF AND THREE FEET OF GARDEN HOSE! YOU WANNA DANCE? 6:13 PM - Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 1.7K Retweets 587 Quote Tweets 9.5K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 07
    Text - Alton Brown @altonbrown 000 I'LL DEAL WITH YOU AS SOON AS I'M DONE WITH THIS CAPT CRUNCH SITZ BATH. 6:15 PM - Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 401 Retweets 117 Quote Tweets 4.6K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 08
    Text - Alton Brown 000 @altonbrown TWO WORDS: RANCH...STINGS. 6:20 PM - Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 160 Retweets 24 Quote Tweets 3.1K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 09
    Text - Alton Brown @altonbrown 000 MURDER HORNET FONDUE 6:22 PM - Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 892 Retweets 208 Quote Tweets 5.3K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 10
    Text - Alton Brown 000 @altonbrown HAS ANYONE ACTUALLY EVER MET A "JOLLY RANCHER"? 6:23 PM - Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 759 Retweets 122 Quote Tweets 5.2K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 11
    Text - Alton Brown 000 @altonbrown YOU WANNA EAT WITH THE DEVIL IN THE PALE MOONLIGHT? FINE...EAR WAX. 6:24 PM · Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 333 Retweets 69 Quote Tweets 3.8K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 12
    Text - Alton Brown 000 @altonbrown PRINCE SAID IT BEST "LET'S GET CRAZY." 6:26 PM - Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 414 Retweets 50 Quote Tweets 4.1K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 13
    Text - Alton Brown @altonbrown 000 SWISS FREAKIN' MEATBALLS FOR EVERYONE 6:29 PM - Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 379 Retweets 67 Quote Tweets 4.2K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 14
    Text - Alton Brown 000 @altonbrown GRAPENUTS ROCK...ESPECIALLY WITH HALF N HALF AND SCOTCH. 6:30 PM - Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 482 Retweets 277 Quote Tweets 5.4K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 15
    Text - Alton Brown 00 @altonbrown I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE. 6:32 PM · Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 1.4K Retweets 210 Quote Tweets 8.5K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 16
    Text - Alton Brown 000 @altonbrown CANNED FRUIT SALAD AND CHEEZE WIZ WITH HERSHEY'S SYRUP AND GIN 6:33 PM - Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 670 Retweets 428 Quote Tweets 5.8K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 17
    Text - Alton Brown @altonbrown 000 I want you to go out right now and buy Fritos and cat food. 6:37 PM · Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 649 Retweets 187 Quote Tweets 6.3K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 18
    Text - Alton Brown 000 @altonbrown Turn off the lights and run 23 Slim Jims through the juicer. 6:40 PM - Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 3.8K Retweets 874 Quote Tweets 15.6K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 19
    Text - Alton Brown @altonbrown 000 who's with me? 6:43 PM - Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 181 Retweets 30 Quote Tweets 5.2K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 20
    Text - Alton Brown @altonbrown 000 I SAID "WHO'S WITH ME"? 6:44 PM - Nov 2, 2020 · Twitter Web App 536 Retweets 320 Quote Tweets 11.6K Likes
    via altonbrown
  • 21
    Text - Alton Brown 000 @altonbrown I think I blacked out. What'd I miss? 6:14 AM - Nov 3, 2020 · Twitter Web App 303 Retweets 107 Quote Tweets 6.6K Likes
    via altonbrown

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