Woman Wants To Know If She's Wrong To Stop Supporting Dead Husband's 'Affair Child' At 18

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    Text - Text - Posted by u/RepresentativeOwn638 7 days ago 5 2 3e AITA For Refusing To Replenish A College Trust For My Deceased Husband's Affair Child? Not the A-hole I (52f) am in an unusual situation and need an outside perspective but want to maintain my anonymity. 18 years ago it was revealed, at my husband's funeral, he had a pregnant mistress (40f). Obviously I didn't just take the woman's word for it and stated that she wouldn't get a cent until there was a DNA test. When it was proven tr
  • 02
    Text - She agreed and I made it clear that I wasn't going to do anything else for her or the child. I also made it clear that I wouldn't take on the responsibility of fostering a relationship between our children and that it would be my husband's side of the family's job.
  • 03
    Text - Fast forward 12 years and the mistress' child got sick and needed medical treatment. She didn't have enough money for what insurance wouldn't cover and reached out to me for support. I reminded her what our original agreement was and to borrow money from relatives for assistance. She said her credit wasn't good enough for a loan at the time and she didn't have anyone who she could borrow the money from. When I wasn't budging she
  • 04
    Text - who she could borrow the money from. When I wasn't budging she got upset and accused me of being a monster for not helping a child in need. I reminded her that I already helped her child by setting up a college trust but she could use some of that money for the costs if she really needed it.
  • 05
    Text - Text - She agreed and her child pulled through. Now that the child is 18 and intending to go to college in the Fall of 2021 the mistress reached out to me about the trust and was upset when she found out that the amount was much less than what was originally agreed upon. I reminded her it was less because some of the money was used for the medical bills and that I never said I would put the money back in. I also informed her that I was going to start
  • 06
    Text - Text - put the money back in. I also informed her that I was going to start charging her rent the following year and she would need to pay or move out. I didn't care that she was upset because I was always straight forward about the situation but now my MIL and SIL are starting to say that it's unfair to the child. I don't see it that way because the mistress had at least 6 more years to figure something out so AITA?
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    Text - Edit: Thank you so much for giving out your opinions and advice so far. However I do see some reoccurring comments and questions so I wanted to give more info just in case it changes your stance. 1. I am an American and live in the United States.
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    Text - Text - 2. My husband and I were in our 30s and he died in an accident so there was no will. We were strong middle-class but not rich. My husband a Life Insurance policy that named me as the primary beneficiary and then our children, a house that wasn't paid off yet, $20,000 worth of his own savings, and two cars that was both in our names but also wasn't paid off at the time of his death. His mistress could've sued but it wouldn't have been much.
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    Text - Text - 3. The rental property that I let her stay in was an inheritance from my side of the family that was solely in my name so my husband had no legal ownership of at the time of his death. 4. My MIL and SIL don't know the full details but they know I have enough money to the point where I could pay for the mistress' child to go to a decent 4-year school and not miss it, even during this pandemic. They on the other hand can't.
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    Text - Text - neverseektotell Certified Proctologist [23] 17.0k points · 7 days ago NTA. Blows my mind how much family members love to say it's unfair when they're not willing to lift a finger to help. Every time anyone mentions it to you from now on - 'you're more related to her than I am. You pay.' Literally just repeat yourself. Expected to pay for the mistress's kid's college... unbelievable.
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    Text - Text - PoorCorrelation Asshole Enthusiast [5] 240 points · 7 days ago NTA and because I'm sure she will never say it you are a saint. Now go buy yourself something nice or donate to a charity that'll actually bother to send you a thank you card once in a while instead of supporting some stranger
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    Text - Text - pittsburgpam Partassipant [2] 112 points · 7 days ago Unless she skated along, did minimum work, or minimum wage work, or welfare, she had MORE than enough time to save a hell of a lot of money. She could have got a good degree just in a couple of those years. She made her bed (before and after her affair partner's death) and she can lie in it. OP did more than enough.
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    Text - Text - Nearby Specialist741 110 points · 7 days ago I'd say it was a MUCH better deal than she could expect. If I ever went with a married man and/or had his child I could never in a million years force myself to even walk on the same side of the street of his wife, let alone show up at the funeral, let alone demand ANYTHING AT ALL. All I would have given her is a lawsuit for harassment if she ever showed up twice on my property.
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    Text - Text - WeeklyConversation8 Partassipant [1] 46 points · 7 days ago She should have been taking the money she would have spent on rent and put it in savings. Think about how much she would have if rent in that area was $1,000/mo. That would have covered medical bills and college. What did she think would happen once the child turned 18; that she'd continue to live there rent free for the rest of her life? OP isn't being cruel, the mistress is being greedy and the child is now an adult.
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    Text - Text - danirdaniels Partassipant [2] 5.3k points · 7 days ago NTA- she was hoping for a free ride. No judge would entertain her if she tried anything legal. 18yrs of free rent plus college money that she pulled from before and didn't replenish? She couldn't save money or fix her credit after 18yrs of no rent? You fulfilled your agreement. You're good.
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    Text - Text - drunkonmartinis Pooperintendant [57] 1.3k points · 7 days ago NTA. Holy smokes. That lady is lucky she's had you to mooch off of all these years. Do what you wanna do, you already did what was "right," and way more than that. Terrible situation, sorry OP.
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    Text - Text - Maddie215 Asshole Enthusiast [5] 921 points · 7 days ago NTA. The child and the childs mother are not your responsibility. The education fund was the childs inheritace. Giving them a free place to live makes you a saint. Enough is enough.
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    Text - hexgirlthorn Partassipant [1] 813 points · 7 days ago NTA. So let me get this straight. Your husband cheated, but out of the goodness of your heart you gave this woman (who you have no relationship with) access to a place to stay AND money for her child? ΝΤΑ . ΝΤΑ. ΝΤΑ This woman is a exploitative and is incredible un-selfaware. Normal people don't have access to trust fund money period, she should be grateful for the opportunities you have given her.

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