The 9 Guys Who Will Inevitably Try And Slide Into Your DMs At One Point Or Another

• Your Toxic Ex

  
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  Just as you're about to forget he exists, he slides right in with a classic: "I miss you." BLOCK his ass. Why haven't you already?! You'll tell your friends he's been blocked for ages, but Britney Spears knows the truth: he's toxic, you're slipping under, and right back into his DMs.

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• The Sugar Daddy

  
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  He just wants to shower you with money, presents, and everything your heart desires. You're beautiful, and beautiful girls deserve the world. You don't even have to sleep with him. He just wants a harmless feet pic. You laugh at first. but then you reconsider. You could really use the money. All about the hustle.

  
  

• The Can’t Stop Won’t Stop

  
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  "Good morning, gorgeous!" "Hi, there cutie" "How's it going hottie?" - insert more cringe opening lines here. All go unanswered, but he will stop at nothing to get your attention. At the rate he's going, these DMs might continue till the day you die. You have to admire his stamina.

  
  

• The Party Promoter

  
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  You and the party promoter have a symbiotic relationship. He DMs you with promises of incredible nights out on the town with supers speed entry into clubs and unlimited vodka, and you're another hot piece of ass in his cattle of Insta Hoes, representing more dollar signs coming his way.  

  
  

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• The Dating App Dude

  
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  Because you're like, the busiest girl in the world, you didn't answer his message on Hinge/Tinder/OkCupid. So he's giving it another go on the 'gram. Nice to see he's leaving the door wide open for when you've had enough of your toxic ex.

  
  

• The Guy with the Girlfriend

  
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  Based on his Insta, he obviously has a girlfriend. Yet he's randomly hitting up those DMs every weekend. It's friendly banter, never anything overtly sexual. You can't figure out his ulterior motives. A pen pal? A side hoe? A wholesome friendship? The world may never know.

  
  

• The Insta Ambassador

  
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  If you give him a shoutout on your story, he'll give one right back. If you just like and comment on his pics, he'll make you the biggest Instagram influencer. If you just join his pyramid scheme, you'll have the world at your fingertips. Those DMs sound promising, but it's unlikely he'll actually pull through on any of those promises.

  
  

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• The Hit it & Quit it

  
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  Looks like that one guy you hooked up with a million years ago wants to come back for more. Poor thing. There's a reason you two only happened once. You would grace him with a response to his DM, but he didn't grace you with even one O back in the day.

• The Photographer

  
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  His Insta is super artsy, featuring people, landscapes, and random objects. He wants to add you to his portfolio, according to his DM. It's unclear whether a photo sesh is his idea of foreplay, but you go for it anyway. Worst case scenario, you leave with a bunch of spunky headshots.

  Like what you see? Find more hilarious women's memes and crazy stories on our Instagram @Cheezcake_Humor.

  
  

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