Dad lets sister take 4-month-old to run errands, gets offended when wife panics: 'She's joked about wanting to throw water in his face'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 8, 2025 9:00 PM EST

It is only natural for a new mom to feel protective over her baby.

When somebody has put all that effort into bringing a child into the world and dealt with wild hormonal fluctuations on top of that, it is understandable that they may have some strong boundaries in the early stages of parenting (and as the kid grows up, too). 

A lot of the time, this is sensible; there are plenty of things that are inappropriate or downright dangerous to expose an infant to, and the mothering instinct is there to shield them from that. However, it is also not uncommon for friends and family to accuse moms of going overboard with their protectiveness. 

Among the many challenges of early parenthood is the need to prove how a parent feels about how other people interact with their baby is not something to be dismissed. Unfortunately, there are plenty who disregard this.

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  • a closeup of a stressed woman covering her face with her hands
    via Daniel Martinez (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • In this story, a first-time mom was thrown into a panic when she left her 4-month-old son with her husband while she went to an appointment and came back home to find he wasn't there. Her husband told her that he had let his younger sister go to run errands with him, which upset her because she felt her sister-in-law had previously displayed inappropriate behavior towards her nephew.

    Her husband got angry that she had questioned his judgment, but she still felt that this was something that should not have happened. She felt a little bad for losing her temper, but she wanted validation that she wasn't in the wrong.

  • AITA for shouting at my husband for letting my SIL take our baby out without telling me?

    My (23F) SIL lives in the same building and has taken our 4-month- old baby for an hour at a time a few times.
    via These-Credit-9973
  • He's usually within hearing distance, so if anything goes wrong, I can get there quickly. Yesterday, I (30F) had an appointment and left the baby with my husband (35M).
    via These-Credit-9973
  • When I came back, I found out the baby was gone, and my husband told me my SIL had taken him to run errands with her.
    via These-Credit-9973
  • I panicked and told him I wasn't comfortable with it, he then explained but then shouted at me because I wouldn't let it go.
    via These-Credit-9973
  • a woman looks back while pushing a stroller on a path in a park
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • So I started shouting at him back. He said I wouldn't have seen my phone during the appointment and thought it was fine since she's looked after the baby before.
    via These-Credit-9973
  • I swore at him as he got angry back at me, but I was just panicking because she doesn't have much experience with babies and she's only looked after him indoors so far.
    via These-Credit-9973
  • For context, she's joked before about things like wanting to throw water in his face when he cries and gets offended if he cries with her but he's just a baby and made me uncomfortable.
    via These-Credit-9973
  • Sometimes she'll also take him out my hands while I'm holding him without asking me which annoys me.
    via These-Credit-9973
  • AITA for losing my temper?
    via These-Credit-9973
  • a close up of a stressed woman putting her hand to her mouth
    via Daniel Martinez (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • People understood her point of view, but some felt she could have handled it better.

    Starlight-Skylight YTA. There is no reason to yell at your husband for this. I get that you're nervous and the baby is only 4 months old, but this could've been a civil conversation. You already trust SIL with the baby as she's watched him before, and he made a parenting decision. You need to have a conversation without shouting and decide together what your SIL is able to do with the baby while she is watching him. Is this your first child? It's okay to be nervous about people watching him but
    via Starlight-Skylight
  • OP These-Credit-9973 Yes it's my first child, maybe it stems more from my relationship with her as she's annoyed me a few times with other things like jabs at me saying my husband trained me well and gets excited if people say the baby looks like her or think she's his mom. I'm probably overly attached as a new mom.
    via These-Credit-9973
  • UnderstandingAble194 Nta for losing your temper this time but why the fuck would you still give this person access after they joked about waterboarding your 4 month old? You know he can't tell you what she does to him when they are alone right? Protect your child please.
    via UnderstandingAble194
  • AwkwardImpression72 NTA, but your husband is. Your SIL has no business taking a 4 month old to just run errands. Theres was no need for that, he's not an accessory or toy to be dragged around away from a parent. Who the fuck randomly does that for no reason? What if she got into an accident with him? Yeah, your husband is completely out of line and has seriously questionable judgment. The fact that he can't see that is very troubling.
    via AwkwardImpression72
  • onlytexts NTA and I don't care about the downvotes. Your husband wanted "me time". He knew You wouldnt be happy with the aunt taking your kid and he didnt care as long as he could get the kid away from him. And yelling is an appropiate response sometimes.
    via onlytexts
  • This WillAgeWell I'm going to give you a gentle YTA. It's gentle because I get that your baby is the most precious thing in the world to you, and I also get that the reason you shouted at your husband was that you were in a panicky state. But that doesn't make you right. Now that your baby is back with you, and he's fine, and you are in a calmer state of mind, you need to reflect on a few things. Firstly, your husband is not the "backup" carer, second in charge to you. He's your son's parent too
    via ThisWillAgeWell
  • Full-Disk-7249 these comments are definitely murdering me? no, you're not the asshole. people keep saying that the husband gets to make decisions as well, and i think that's obvious. based on what op said. she just wanted to be clued in on where her literal child would be going BEFORE it happened. this is obviously a mistake of not communicating. i don't understand why so many of you are painting it out that op is this overbearing person who needs to always be the last say in what happens with h
    via Full-Disk-7249
  • Only_Music_2640 Your husband is too lazy and uninvolved to watch his own baby while you are at an appointment? Isn't that the real issue?
    via Only_Music_2640
  • SpaceAceCase Why was this time an issue? You've left the baby with her before and you say she often takes him for an hour or so but this time its an issue? This seems like a huge over reaction and not something you should be cursing your husband out over. You either trust SIL or dont. If your not comfortable with her watching your baby maybe dont have her watch him at all.
    via SpaceAceCase
  • NAH indicatprincess Mostly BECAUSE you're 4 months postpartum and still going through it. This gets easier as time goes on but. You gotta realize that shouting at him and questioning his judgment like this does not serve you at all.
    via indicatprincess

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aita baby parenting sister in law babysitting dad sister reddit thread Reddit mom
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