The Non-Tropey Jobs Rom-Com Ladies Should Have Actually Had
When we're feeling down, there's nothing like a good romantic comedy to give us those warm fuzzies. At least, up until the credits roll and we see our sad selves reflected in the dark screen covered in chocolate ice cream stains with no one to love but the neighbor's cat! Am I right ladies??
….Ladies?
Ahem...well anyway, have you ever thought about how screwed the economy would be if women in real life were all bakery-owners or journalists like they all are in rom-coms? Did screenwriters just learn about like three career options and then drop out of school or something? A lot of the time the jobs don't even seem to fit the characters. So let's think...what would make more sense for these women? Read on...
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Bridesmaids - Kristen Wiig
I'm sorry but I don't buy any version of Kristen Wiig as a baker. Her character in Bridesmaids is more like, I dunno, a grocery store clerk? She would totally make snide comments under her breath as she rang people up. If she HAS to have a creative side then let her do the window displays! Everyone's happy!
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It’s Complicated - Meryl Streep
I'm sorry but I also don't buy any version of Meryl Streep as a baker—she has too much glamor and personality! I would cast her as a local radio host. In the movie, she plays a lonely divorcee, and there's nothing like being alone in a soundproof broadcasting booth speaking out to a world that probably isn't listening to remind you that your ex-husband married a much younger woman and they have a baby and all you have is an empty house filled with painful memories and regret!
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Hitch - Eva Mendes
Eva Mendes is supposed to be playing a cynical, serious character, right? So why is she writing a gossip column? She's a Serious Career Woman, have some respect and let her work in the White House! Yeah, you heard me, make her the presidential speechwriter or the spokeswoman for the Secretary of State! What, she's not relatable that way? You cowards. You absolute buffoons. Who raised you?
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Last Holiday - Queen Latifah
Listen, if Queen Latifah wants a restaurant, Queen Latifa deserves a restaurant. I just feel like she could aim higher? Like, she's Queen Latifa, at the very least give her a whole cooking show.
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You’ve Got Mail - Meg Ryan
Yeah, I know Meg Ryan and her little book shop are cutesy as hell. But the fact that Tom Hanks literally puts her out of business kinda...puts a damper on the romance? Right? In the original story the two characters are actually co-workers, so why not have Meg and Tom work at rival mid-level book chains? Then they're on equal footing, they both get to love books, and you still have your company rivalry.
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Trainwreck - Amy Schumer
I get that working at a magazine is supposed to tell us that our leading lady is totally so successful and omg LOVES being single but isn't Amy Schumer supposed to be, like...subversive? She couldn't think of anything just a little more interesting? Given how central drinking and sleeping around are to her character here, I'm gonna say she should be a bartender. But at a sports bar for big-name athletes because LeBron is a treasure in this movie and the bar would be an excuse to give him more screentime.
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