'Adult squirrel? Full of rage': Wildlife rehabilitator rates the 10 best (and worst) animal bites

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Aug 13, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Animal bites hurt more than just your skin, bones, and muscles; it hurts the heart of an animal lover. Under the guise that we're different than other threats because we genuinely care for these critters, sometimes animal lovers forget that wildlife is, in fact, wild, and that key instinctual fact can lead to the inevitable: Bites. 

However, in the world of wildlife rehabilitation, animal bites are just a part of the job description. This woman has created a silly ranking system to loop us in on the surprising benefactors of the animal kingdom's best and worst chompers. 

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter to start your Caturday with the funniest felines on the internet!

Advertisement
  • Rating animals who have bit me as a wildlife rehabber
    via nicoledautreppe
  • Baby Giraffe 9/10 just a nibble long neck puppy
    via nicoledautreppe
  • Chinese Goose 6/10 spiteful strangely sharp google "inside Goose mouth" if you dare
    via nicoledautreppe

  • Anyone who's encountered a goose IRL knows that they're not so silly. The most dinosaur-esque bird that still remains, gooses have freaky teeth and spines covering their entire beak, making their bites not only a surprise, but a painful spiky one at that! Paired with their retaliatory and aggressive demeanor, it's no surprise that geese are on the top of the list for worst biters.

  • Black Vulture 10/10 sweetest boy kisses cleaner than you think
    via nicoledautreppe
  • Baby Squirrel 4/10 rips gloves will run away after
    via nicoledautreppe

  • GET YOUR WEEKLY HIT OF WHISKERED PURRFECTION - SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER!

  • Adult Squirrel 3/10 full of rage will scratch my bite got infected
    via nicoledautreppe
  • Baby Camel 7/10 gummy lots of slobber just wants cuddles
    via nicoledautreppe

  • Camels are weird. As the horses of the desert and the goats of the Sahara, camels steal our hearts in many ways, and bites are not one of them. Unlike their ungulate brethren, camels are actually really cuddly and kind, and as babies, it turns out they like to give a gummy nip to their handlers to show their affection. 

  • Opossum 3/10 SO many teeth (sharp) strike like snakes still cute tho
    via nicoledautreppe
  • Baby Javelina 1/10 literally needles angry wants beef
    via nicoledautreppe

  • MUAHAHAHA

    Cheezburger Image 10541732864
    via nicoledautreppe
  • Great Horned Owl 3/10 only got a nibble still punctured my palm could have been worse
    via nicoledautreppe

Check out our Instagram for more hilarious animal content!

Love our stuff? Shop for some of our pawsome merch here.

Tags

best and worst animal bites animal rescue bites wildlife animals rescue
Scroll Down For The Next Article