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01
Download Tinder
Just for fun teehee.
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02
Delete Tinder
No more of that.
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03
Chug a Bottle of Wine While Face-timing Your Friend and Making Complete Eye Contact
Idk why eye contact is necessary but it adds flavor.
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04
Go For a Walk Around Your Neighborhood With Only One Airpod in
This makes you appear more ~open to connections~
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05
Drink Some Water After All That Wine
You'll thank me later.
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06
Re-download Tinder
Eh, why not? What's the harm?
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07
Order Yourself Some Flowers
Omg! I wonder who these are from <3333.
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08
Buy a Vase Too Because You'll Need One For The Flowers
It's another big adulting step.
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09
Bake Something Sweet, Like: Cookies, Brownies, Wine…
Oh wait, how did that last one end up on that list ;).
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10
Take a Bubble Bath
It can be really soothing if you're not thinking about how you're literally sitting in your own filth.
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11
Order a Heart-shaped Pizza
It's literally the only time of year that you can do it, and they are actually cute af. Plus they usually come unsliced so you can dramatically rip it apart if that's the vibe.
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12
Send Noods
What? Noodles are the way to my heart. I would love it if someone sent me some.
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13
Watch Movies and Cringe Every Time You See People Not Wearing Masks
Say it with me before you panic, "It was a different time! It was a different time!"
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14
Connect to Your Yoni
You don't need a valentine to do this. Love your yoni and she will love you back. If you don't know what a yoni is, ask your mom.
Quick Guide to Crushing Valentine's Day 2021 As a Single Queen
Let's be real. Whether you like it or not Valentine's day is coming up quickly. Yes, we're are in the midst of a global pandemic, but that doesn't mean you cannot make February 14th your B. Options may be limited, but there are still plenty of ways to go off and show Saint Valentine who's boss. Who needs a man when there are heart-shaped pizzas out there that can fill you up without unleashing their emotional baggage on you? Here are fourteen ways to thoroughly smash your first (and hopefully last) social distancing Valentine's day as the single queen that you are.
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