Nine Types of Wing-Women Who Can Make or Break One's Love Life

• 1

  The Over-Excited One

  

  She knows you better than anyone, and she knows you haven't gotten any action in 6+ months. So anytime you vaguely mention that somebody has caught your eye, she lets out an overly enthusiastic, "YAAAAS QUEEEEN," and proceeds to tell you to go for it even without giving him a glance. She just wants you to be happy, and she's really tired of hearing you talk about your ex.

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• 2

  The One Who’s in Love With You

  

  She's severely unimpressed with every specimen that comes over to you. "Did you see his socks? Stripes! Ew! Let's go dance." If somebody approaches you on the dance floor she tries to convince you to hook up with her to turn him on, but then she throws in a little too much tongue, and before you know it people are telling you two that you look so cute together, and that they support all forms of love.

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• 3

  The Life Coach

  

  She spots him before you do, and within a minute she has already formed an alliance with his friends in preparation for your not-so-spontaneous meeting. She disappears for a bit, and you count down from ten to find him already walking towards you. Typical coach.

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• 4

  The One Who Clearly Wants Him Too

  

  She mentions that his breath smells bad and that his best friend is WAY hotter. She goes with you to dance with them and makes sure that he thinks you're uninterested. Once his best friend is twirling you around you notice that she's at the bar with him laughing way too hard at his jokes.

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• 5

  The Sourpuss

  

  Not everyone has what it takes to be a wing-woman. This girl clearly checked out hours ago. She keeps a sour face while talking to guys until you finally feel guilty enough to go home with her. The plus side is that she really made you appear like the fun one.

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• 6

  The One Who's In a Relationship

  

  She used to be the queen of bringing guys over to the table or starting a conga line on the dance floor. But suddenly Chad came into the picture and her powers have become severely limited. No more grinding up on random men while you make your move. No more sharing ubers with strangers to 'keep the party moving.' But then again maybe that is for the best.

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• 7

  The One Who Thinks She's Better at This Than She is

  

  She said at the beginning of the night, "my job is to get you some d***." However, her true talents shine through the art of cock blocking. You can barely go five minutes talking with a guy before she suddenly appears out of nowhere checking in to make sure you're okay.  Right before you give your away number she will likely come over and say, "It's time for us to go," giving you a wink and mouthing "You're welcome."

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• 8

  The 'Less Attractive' One

  

  Obviously, your friend is beautiful, but when it comes to helping you to impress a guy, she will do everything in her power to make you appear more desirable. Some tactics include unbuttoning her pants, burping loudly, and committing to the Cotton-Eye Joe on the dancefloor. Homegirl really goes the whole nine yards for you and you would do just the same for her.

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• 9

  The Angel From Mars

  

  This girl isn't even your friend! You met her in the bathroom 3 minutes ago! But for whatever reason, she can read your mind and she is the best damn wing-woman you've ever had. She's outgoing, smart, uplifting. She keeps the mood impeccably light, and before you know it numbers just start being thrown around and you already have a date set for next Thursday. Who is this girl? Why is she so nice to me? Am I in love with her? Where did she go? She disappears in the night and you never see her again.

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