'She brought up a "debt" I had no idea I was supposed to repay': 18-year-old's mom buys 2 tickets for a Kendrick Lamar concert, forces daughter's friend to pay her the €130 back despite not informing her it wasn't a gift

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Aug 9, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Money is a tricky subject, no matter who you are and no matter how much you're making. Everyone has different relationships, so it's hard to know where each of us is coming from, and you don't want to assume. This is especially true when you're young. When you're still in school, the access to money that you and your friends have might be radically different. Maybe some of you don't have jobs but are supported by your parents. 

Maybe some of you are paying your own way. Maybe some of you are trying to save for the future. You never know what might be the case, so it's best not to force expenses upon one another without talking about it beforehand. You'd hate to end up in a place where money threatens to ruin a friendship. But it happens, and it's not always easy to avoid. 

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  • AITA for not knowing i had to pay back a "debt" I didn't know I owed?

    I (18F) went to a Kendrick Lamar and SZA concert a few days ago with my friend G (18F), but the day before the concert she brought up a "debt" I had no idea I was supposed to repay.
    via u/Saku-ukaS
  • Two young adult girls enjoy a concert together.
    via Tristan Dixon

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened between these two young girls who found themselves having incurred an expense that neither of them was prepared to deal with. With a whole lot of miscommunication and not a whole lot of trust, a rift started to grow in the friendship. Read on to see what happened and how they dealt with it. 

  • Back around November of last year, the concert dates were announced, and G suggested we should have gone there together. However, once I saw the ticket price (about €130), I told her I wasn't sure I could come because I didn't have enough money. I'm still in school and don't have a job, and
    via u/Saku-ukaS
  • I didn't want to ask my parents for help: my mom is in a tough financial situation, and my dad (they've been divorced since I was a kid) already has other expenses to take care of. A few hours after I told her I probably couldn't go, she replied with something like "don't worry, my mom already bought the tickets for both of us." Since she told me not to worry, I assumed the ticket was a gift and so i thanked her and didnt think much of It.
    via u/Saku-ukaS
  • Months passed and we kept talking excitedly about the concert. There was never any mention of money or paying her mom back. Then, on August 1st, the day before the concert, we were making plans for the event when she suddenly told me that her mom had brought up the money situation and said I could
    via u/Saku-ukaS
  • eventually "pay her back slowly". G also added that "she would've even gifted it to you if it hadn't cost so much." I was kind of shocked and asked what she meant, because I had always assumed it was a gift. G then said she didn't understand why her mom was bringing it up now either, and she herself thought it was a gift from the beginning. But since
    via u/Saku-ukaS
  • her mom mentioned it, she felt like she had to let me know. I felt pretty bad when i reas that message. I don't have a job, and I only get occasional small amounts of money from my parents. Paying back €130 would be a real challenge for me right now.
    via u/Saku-ukaS
  • Anyway, we went to the concert and everything went fine. Her mom never brought up the money to me directly, and she didn't say anything about how or when I should pay her back. After the concert, I told my mom what happened. She got upset with me and said I must've misunderstood the original message and should've clarified from the
    via u/Saku-ukaS
  • beginning whether it was a gift or not. Then she called G's mom to thank her for hosting me and subtly asked how I could pay her back. G's mom just said, "Don't worry, the girls will figure it out." That vague response confused me even more.
    via u/Saku-ukaS
  • Now I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like I didn't do anything wrong, G's mom should've clarified from the start if she expected to be paid back, especially since I made it very clear I couldn't afford the ticket. I'm in my final year of school and preparing for medical school entrance exams. I literally don't have time to work, and both G and her mom are well aware of this.
    via u/Saku-ukaS
  • Still, most people around me are saying I'm in the wrong and that I should pay the money back as soon as possible.
    via u/Saku-ukaS
  • Two best friends smile next to one another.
    via Marcel Strauß

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters had differing opinions on how to tackle this.

    lamthebog 1d ago . You are not in the wrong! You made it clear you couldn't afford it. If it was expected that you need to pay it back, this should have been made clear to you from the beginning, BEFORE the ticket was purchased, so that you could give informed consent
    via u/lamthebog
  • and a plan could be made relating to how you would pay it back. It sounds like there is perhaps some poor communication happening. between your friend and her mom, but that is not your problem, you are NTA.
    via u/lamthebog
  • Fa... • 23h ago Edited 23h ago • I think ESH It would have been NTA, because obviously you made it clear you were not expecting to pay, then she bought tickets. But then before the concert, your friend clarified that they do expect you to pay. You had three choices at that point:
    via u/FacetiousTomato
  • A) Dont go tell her "sorry, - you think there has been a misunderstanding, you can't pay" and refer her back to the original messages. NTA B) Go, and find a way to pay for it NTA C) Go knowing she expects to be paid back, and also knowing you cannot pay her back. You chose this option which makes you also guilty here.
    via u/FacetiousTomato
  • DJJINO 21h ago Girls will figure it out is the most toxic setup I've ever heard.
    via u/DJJINO
  • china_aa 1d ago NTA Well... I feel like G or G Mom is trying to recoup their money if possible. Just relax and try to save up as much as you can. Can you save 10 a week? That'll take about 13 weeks. Or $20 a week and it'll take a month and half to pay them back.
    via u/china_aa
  • You were given too little notice but now you know. Just don't stress and pay back slowly
    via u/china_aa
  • NOTTHATKAREN1 • 21h ago If you were my child's friend, that would've been a gift. Especially knowing that you couldn't afford it. How TF are you supposed to pay her back? I honestly wouldn't worry about it. Nor would I pay her back. Sometime down
    via u/NOTTHATKAREN1
  • the road when your friend is stuck, maybe you can help. her out. Asking for the money back is an a h le move, but even more so close to the date. Why TF did she wait for so long to ask about the money? I would've believed it was a gift too after saying I couldn't afford it & then my friend says "don't worry, my mom bought the tickets for us." Yeah, that sounds like a gift.
    via u/NOTTHATKAREN1
  • • pottersquash · 1d ago NAH. Feels like this is a badly taught lesson. Yea, anytime a friend does a high cost transfer, its good practice to make it 100000% clear if its a gift or a loan. Seems like her mom is putting pressure on her to have this convo with you and from her perspective its probably about making sure she knows that she can ask her friends to pay stuff back.
    via u/pottersquash
  • I don't think you are in the wrong BUT yea you should try to pay it back cause your good friends and thats a good thing to show a friend.
    via u/pottersquash
  • ScarletNotThatOne 1d ago • NTA but you should talk with your friend and clarify/agree that you had both understood it to be a gift. And that you would not have taken on a debt because you have no way of repaying it. Just talk it out and clear things up. Your friend also understood it the way that you did, so your understanding should not be challenged.
    via u/ScarletNotThatOne
  • Endoftheworldis2far 21h ago • You don't have money. It doesn't sound like Gs mom is going after it hard. I just wouldn't worry about it. If they bring it up say"I told you I couldn't afford it. I don't know when I'll have any money". It's not fair for you to give her every last $10 you happen on. Wait until you have the money to comfortably pay.
    via u/Endoftheworldis2far
  • shuckyducked • 23h ago ESH-But the good news is you're an adult. Talk to your friend's mom on your own and figure out how to resolve this with her. Spell things out because she may have a different understanding than your friend did. Be honest that you were upfront from
    via u/shuckyducked
  • the beginning that you couldn't afford it and that you and your friend thought it was a gift. Tell her your friend didn't tell you until the day before the concert and you were too uncomfortable to raise the issue or cancel at the last minute. Just be honest and persistent in solving this matter.
    via u/shuckyducked
  • The1Eileen • 13h ago . Firstly do not go through - your friend. Go straight to her mom and explain that you understood this as a gift to you, which you very much appreciate and is she really thinking this was a "pay back" situation?
    via u/The1Eileen
  • Because maybe (just maybe) the mom isn't saying that at all and your 'friend' is realizing that she might be able to make you pay her $$. You know your friend and her mom best. If the mom doing this seems strange to you, don't go through a middle- man.
    via u/The1Eileen
  • Maybe your friend misunderstood. Maybe the mom said something else. Maybe the mom thought it was a payback situation all along and thought her daughter told you. The communication breakdown could have occured at any point. And if it really is that
    via u/The1Eileen
  • she randomly decided right NOW to make you pay her back, then you can politely tell her that you were told it was a gift and if you had understood it to be a debt, you would not have incurred it (gone to the concert) because you cannot afford it. And then leave the conversation. NTA
    via u/The1Eileen

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friendship relationship advice aita drama AITAH best friends concert storytime friends listen to your friends reddit story relationships friend drama parenting friend story reddit thread Reddit discourse money conflict
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