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Funniest Tweets About Marriage We Saw Last Month

Marriage is the ultimate happily ever after. Two lovebirds have been lucky enough to find someone to have and to hold from this day forward. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, and to cherish till death do us part… unless of course, they kill each other first. "Happily" married couples take to Twitter on a weekly basis to put their partners on blast for the whole world to see.

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  • 1
    Font - Simon Holland ... @simoncholland Not sure if my wife didn't hear me say I was coming down with a cold or if she is ignoring me. Guess l'd better mention it another 67 times. 2:28 PM Feb 20, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 60 Retweets 5 Quote Tweets 1,479 Likes
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    We're always ready with some popcorn at hand so we can watch the drama unfold. Because nothing says true love like a passive-aggressive tweet about your significant other, am I right? Ah, marital bliss tweets. We love to see it.


  • 2
    Font - Jessie ... @mommajessiec Newlyweds: *scatters rose petals to the bedroom* Married 10 years: *scatters rose petals to the broken sink* 5:25 PM · Feb 12, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 33 Retweets 125 Likes
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  • 3
    Font - Eli McCann @EliMcCann ... The dog has started growling when husband's alarm goes off at 5:00 AM every day and l'm just glad someone is finally speaking out about this. 10:19 PM · Feb 9, 2021 - Twitter Web App 3 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 317 Likes
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  • 4
    Organism - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn Marriage level: I did a video call with my wife because I didn't feel like walking up the stairs. 4:52 PM Feb 21, 2021 - Twitter for Android 128 Retweets 37 Quote Tweets 4,316 Likes
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  • 5
    Font - Josh the Alwrighty @Tryptofantastic ... my wife's superpower is acting surprised when the 12- 14 packages delivered daily to our house are all for her 7:02 PM · Feb 10, 2021 - Twitter for iPhone 27 Retweets 1 Quote Tweet 98 Likes
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  • 6
    Font - Jawbreaker ... @sixfootcandy I have a terrible memory unless we're discussing something my husband did wrong. 8:28 PM · Feb 17, 2021 Twitter for iPhone 220 Retweets 7 Quote Tweets 932 Likes
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  • 7
    Font - Robert Knop ... @FatherWith Twins A couple of our wine glasses broke, and I bought slightly smaller ones to replace them. I don't think my wife has ever been this mad at me before. 2:43 AM Feb 19, 2021 - Twitter Web App 25 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 126 Likes
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  • 8
    Font - URULA @3sunzzz So apparently everyone on my husband's Zoom work call finds my singing distracting. 5:18 PM Feb 11, 2021 · Twitter for Android 130 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 628 Likes
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    Via @3sunzzz

  • 9
    Font - Professional Worrier ... @pro_worrier_ When I'm mad at my husband I like to plug my usb mouse into his computer and move the mouse around while he's playing online games 6:31 PM · Feb 9, 2021 - Twitter for iPhone 130 Retweets 19 Quote Tweets 1,141 Likes
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  • 10
    Rectangle - Real Life Mommy ... @reallifemommy3 I hate when I use up my husband's clean clothes and I'm forced to do my own laundry 7:37 PM · Feb 18, 2021 - Twitter for iPhone 66 Retweets 207 Likes
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  • 11
    Font - Your Favorite Gay Mom @lezzimomof2 Get married and have kids so you can argue over the next family car features you both know you will never buy cause you can't afford it. 5:20 AM Feb 15, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 2 Retweets 74 Likes
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  • 12
    Font - Andy Ryan @ltsAndyRyan ... My wife giving me 'hurry up' gestures when I was halfway through telling her a TWO-LINE joke reminds me of why I generally tell them online instead. 2:14 PM - Feb 13, 2021 · Twitter for Android 3 Retweets 82 Likes
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    satirequeen
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